Of Mothers And Daughters
by jugglequeen
Summary: Since his divorce from Kathleen, Tony and his daughter Lynnie live with Angela. Tony and Angela are a very happy, yet unmarried couple. Their easy and fullfilled lives are turned topsy-turvy once again, and Kathleen most certainly has a finger in the pie.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's note: **This is a sequel to the story 'Two Lives' I posted some time ago. I recommend reading it (including the epilogue) before starting with this story to be able to understand where this one starts from._

_**Disclaimer:** None of the characters belong to me. Only Lynnie - she's my very own fanfiction character ..._

_This is an evolving story, so I appreciate your comments and input. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>1<strong>

"Happy Anniversary, Darling!"

Tony welcomed Angela at the front door after another long working day for both of them.

Angela had had a tough meeting with a client whose campaign didn't obtain the expected result, namely a respectable increase in sales figures. He blamed it all on the insufficient marketing strategy of The Bower Agency he paid a lot of money for. Truth to be told, his product, a sugar sweet and very colorful soda, just didn't meet the demands of today's customer for healthy and low-calorie nutrition. But she had sold Guacamunchis, Mr Ping's tasteless rice cakes, and a disgusting sports drink from France called 'Le Fiz', she would eventually sell this stuff too. She just needed to work a littler harder for this one, which also meant reassuring her client that the boss herself dedicated a lot of her time to this account. Angela was tired, both mentally and physically, but being welcomed by Tony in the evening made her always forget the day's hardship in an instant.

"Hi, Honey," she replied, "what anniversary?"

Tony's day had been equally tough. After Angela had made him enroll again at Ridgemont all these years ago, he had finished the remaining two classes he needed to be able to graduate. His first job had been that of a substitute teacher at an elementary school, which had been okay to start his new career. About a year later, Ridgemont College had offered him a permanent job as a history teacher, and he had become a tenured professor somewhat later. Last year, he had been promoted to co-principal of the Department of Philology. He liked the job very much, but it also meant extra paperwork and administrative tasks. So he usually spent more hours on campus than before.

Today, after lecturing various classes, the weekly meeting with his staff, and a teacher's conference in the afternoon, he was as worn-out as Angela. But despite his tiredness he wouldn't forget their anniversary, though they had never celebrated that one before. They had celebrated the anniversary of his move-in with Samantha for many years; right up until he had moved out to marry another woman, ... They had celebrated the anniversary of the founding of The Bower Agency, and their respective birthdays. They had never celebrated this particular day, although it was one of the most important days in Tony's life.

"Exactly ten years ago from this day we had a wonderful ride on a lawn mower together in Central Park, my Dear," Tony reminded his beloved.

"Was that already ten years ago?" Angela seemed surprised.

"Yes! Do you remember?"

"Sure! How could I forget? We're a couple ever since, and you've made me very happy every single day."

"Yeah, it sure is a ride I love thinking back to." Tony enfolded Angela in his arms and looked deeply into her eyes.

"I love thinking back to what happened after the ride. When we parked that lawn mower in the garden shed," Angela answered, pressing her body to his, winking coquettishly, "if you know what I mean, ..."

"How could I forget?"

Thinking back to the first time they had made love always turned him on. Very much so this time. But he wanted to ask her something very important, so he brought his desire under control with all his will power in order to continue with what he had planned. Unfortunately, Angela engaged him in a passionate kiss, so his will power was put to a tough test. But he managed somehow to pull away from her soft seducing lips. He could resume kissing and caressing her later, after what he had proposed what he wanted to propose.

"How about if we marry?"

Angela disentangled herself out of Tony's embrace and stared at him. If it hadn't been so out of the question, Tony would've sworn he could read horror in her eyes.

"What?"

"I want you to marry me," he amplified softly. As if what he had said before had been so ambiguous that a further explanation was necessary.

"But when we first got together you said that as a divorced man you couldn't marry again!"

"I talked a lot to my father confessor back in Brooklyn lately, and he finally gave me his blessings."

"What about Aunt Rosa? You were afraid she might come over from Italy to bash you over the head with her rolling pin if you got married again."

"She's over 80 now, Angela! She won't go through the hardship of an intercontinental flight just to give me a lesson in Catholic morality." Tony grinned boyishly. "Come on, after ten years it's about time we tie the knot!"

"Why?"

Tony wasn't exactly prepared for this kind of reaction. Somehow he had pictured her saying 'yes' overjoyed. During the last ten years, Angela had always insisted that it didn't matter to her if they were married or not. She said that as long as he promised to love her until death did part them she was fine. She called herself self-sufficient and financially independent, not in need of a husband who provided for her. She kept reassuring Tony that their time together was perfect the way it was, and so full of love that she didn't miss not being married. For Angela, their wonderful relationship was a reward for the difficult and painful way back to one another. But that actually only applied to her. To Tony, a spoken and written commitment was finally called for, as their unspoken one hadn't worked so well back then in the first run.

"Why? What do you mean 'why'?" he repeated bewildered.

"Why all of a sudden? I thought you were happy."

"I _am_ happy. But what's so weird about me wanting to marry you?"

"What would it change if we were married?"

"Change? We would be husband and wife and not only lovers."

"_Only_?" Angela shrieked.

"Angela! What is the matter with you? I know you well enough to be able to tell that your excuses are nothing but pretenses. What is the real reason for you to be so reluctant?"

Angela held her breath and didn't say anything for a moment. Talking about what was on her mind obviously caused her uneasiness. Finally, after what seemed an eternity to Tony, she came out with it, "I'd be you third wife."

"I know it sounds a bit as if I was a Hollywood celebrity, disposing of my wives like some kind of accessory." It was supposed to be funny and Tony gave her a slight chuckle, but from where Angela was standing it obviously wasn't very amusing. Her face remained frozen, her body stiff.

"You already had two," she tried once more, her voice flat and her eyes empty.

"Yeah?"

"Marie gave you Sam, and ... uh, ... Kathleen gave you Lynnie."

"Yeaaah?" Tony still didn't understand what Angela was getting at.

"I can't."

"You can't do what?"

"Give you a daughter. Or a son." She swallowed. "Not anymore. I'm too old. My childbearing years are long over."

"You gave me Jonathan."

"That's not the same. You know what I mean."

"This is all that is bothering you? Having more children is not the reason I want to marry you," he tried to explain, being alarmed now by the troubled and very sad expression on her face.

"I'm afraid 'bothering' isn't the right word, Tony. It doesn't simply bother me. It's more like ..." Angela turned away from him when her voice cracked.

"Sweetheart, come on, tell me!" Tony grabbed her shoulders to make her face him, but she took another few steps away from him. Then she turned at the spot and looked him in the eye. It seemed as if she needed the physical distance between them to get the following off her chest.

"Tony, when you told me in Jamaica that you couldn't make love to me 'until' or 'unless' we were married, and that you needed time until after your graduation to find out what would happen to our relationship, I thought it was just a matter of time until we ended up together. I told you I understood that you wanted to wait. And I did! What I didn't understand of course was why you had to get involved with another woman almost as soon as we got back." She interlaced her fingers in front of her chest to work off her tension. Something she hadn't done in a long time. "At the beginning, I pictured it as a short affair, as something you had to do in order to get clear about us. Then you stayed in that relationship longer than I had hoped and expected. But I remained patient. I was willing to wait for you until you made up your mind. I still imagined us starting a family after your relationship with Kathleen. My house of cards didn't collapse until you told me that she was pregnant and you would marry her."

"You know that I wanted to break off with her the day she told me she was pregnant."

"I do, and that makes it even harder for me to accept, because with tricking you she actually stole our future from us. She took you away from me because she wanted to have you all for herself. And when she finally let you go, time had run out for us to have a baby. I would've loved to carry your child, Tony! We raised Samantha and Jonathan together. We took care of baby Clint, and Billy. It would've been wonderful to raise our own kid. Have you never thought about it?"

"I have, Angela, believe me. Many times," Tony answered sincerely. "We would've made gorgeous children, and I would've preferred to have a whole bunch of them around the house. Beautiful girls like you, and daring boys like me." He swallowed hard, then said with a vacant expression, "But it just wasn't meant to be, ..." his voice trailing away.

"A child is such a special connection between a man and a woman, Tony," Angela continued. "It's so much stronger than a marriage. I know, because although Michael and I are divorced for so many years we're still connected through Jonathan. And part of me will always love him for having given me my son. I dreamed of having a connection like this with you for a long time, actually until I saw Lynnie in your arms for the first time. The way you admired her tore my heart apart. I could see the love in your eyes for your newborn, and I was happy for you. I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like if she was ours. But she was Kathleen's, and at that moment I realized that you would never rock my baby to sleep."

"Angela, Sweetheart, I never knew this burdened your heart so much."

"I know, and that's the problem. The thing is, you have a life-long connection with Kathleen through Lynnie. A connection the two of us will never have. And I'm having difficulties making my peace with it. I can't forgive Kathleen that she got pregnant just to hold the upper hand over me and bind you. Don't get me wrong, Tony, I love Lynnie. I love her as much as I love Sam. She's a great girl, and I'm so glad she lives with us. But she's Kathleen's daughter, not mine. And each time you discuss something about her with your ex-wife, or when she comes here and picks her up for the weekend, it reminds me that I'm left out of this, that this is something you share with Kathleen, and with her only."

"And this is why you don't want to marry me?"

"People marry to start a family."

"Not necessarily! I married Marie because I was young and crazy and madly in love with my childhood sweetheart. It was a spontaneous idea rather than a well-considered act. Starting a family was way out of my mind at the time, I can assure you that! I had just turned 20. ... I married Kathleen because she was pregnant and I felt it was something I had to do. Had I known that she had cheated on me with birth control, I might have decided otherwise." Tony stepped up to Angela and gently cupped her face. He made her look at him, he tried to connect with her on an emotional level, because he didn't want her to get this the wrong way. "_You_, my Love, I want to marry because you're my best friend, ... my life companion, ... my soul mate. I love everything about you. All your curves and edges, your strengths as well as your weaknesses. I love you for the way you've forgiven me my indiscretion with Kathleen, and that you've taken Lynnie into your heart. You're perfect. You are _my_ perfect match! I've never loved a woman the way I love you. The years I spent with you have been the best of my life, and I want to spend the remaining years with you as well. That is why I want to marry you."

Angela's eyes started to well up with tears. And when the first fell and her shoulders started to shake, Tony couldn't take it any longer. He brushed away the tears from her cheeks, kissed her forehead, and offered, "How about we don't decide anything tonight? There's no rush. Thanks for telling me what's so heavy on your mind. I just wished you had told me earlier. I can't believe you've been struggling with this for so long."

"Oh Tony," Angela threw herself in Tony's arms. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to turn you down."

"Shhh, Baby, no need to apologize. Let's put the topic on hold until you feel like dealing with it again, okay?" Angela snuffled and nodded. Tony pulled her close and kissed her hair. "Good. And now, would you like to have a glass of wine? We could make ourselves comfortable on the sofa and watch a movie. What do you think?"

"Wine's a good idea, but no movie. I'd prefer to huddle up against you. I'm too upset to concentrate on a movie. How about we listen to some music?"

"Whatever you want, Angela. Sit down. Here, let me wrap you in a blanket. Don't go away, I'll get the wine." With this, Tony made his way in direction to the kitchen. He had just reached the door frame and nudged the swinging door open, when Angela called after him, "Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." And with a weak smile on her face she added, "Love you."

"I love you too, Angela."

* * *

><p>Whereas the tension downstairs in the living room was abating slowly, an unmeasurable turmoil of emotions kept developing upstairs.<p>

Lynnie was sitting on the floor at the landing with her back pressed to the wall, unable to grasp what she had just heard. Eavesdropping on her father's proposal hadn't been her intention at all; he had taught her it was an intolerable behaviour. She had left her room when Angela's car had pulled up the driveway because she had wanted to ask her for a ride to the train station on the following morning. When Tony had proposed she had wanted to retreat, but then she had been curious why Angela wasn't accepting. Only when she had started to talk about making love in Jamaica, Lynnie had decided to finally leave them alone. Shortly before she had closed her door, her mother's name had been mentioned.

What Lynnie had learned about her mother during the past ten minutes turned her world upside down. She knew that her parents hadn't gotten along very well towards the end of their marriage, but somehow she had thought that they had been happy at the beginning of their relationship. That her father hadn't married out of love but out of obligation was a nasty shock, and that her mother had set out a trap to bind him appalled her completely.

Had she really only become pregnant to outdo Angela? Lynnie hadn't known that Angela was suffering so badly because of something her mother had done to her. Angela, the woman who had saved her life with paying for her cure after her plunge off a tree at the age of four. Angela, the woman who had invited her with open arms to live in her beautiful house. Angela, the woman who made her father so very happy. Angela, the woman whom she shared more mother-daughter-like moments with than with her own mother.

Lynnie didn't want to believe that her mother could be that devious and mean. There had to be something she didn't understand right! She definitely had to talk to her about it. She had to get to the bottom of her parents' marriage. She had to know how they had met, how they had fallen in love, and - most of all - how, and why, she had been conceived!


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

"Good Morning!"

Angela was in a good mood when she entered the kitchen.

Tony had sneaked out of their bed while she had still been sleeping. She loved to wake up in his arms and hated it to wake up in an empty bed. But on a weekday it happened quite often, because Tony always got up first to prepare breakfast. That hadn't changed much since he had been the hired housekeeper. Actually, he still was the housekeeper in a way. They had a cleaning lady who came to the house three times a week to do the laundry, she dusted, vacuumed, and shopped the groceries according to the list Tony made; she did whatever was necessary in the household and whatever Tony told her to do. The only thing he wouldn't assign to her was cooking. He loved to cook, he enjoyed it, it relaxed him, and it was something he could seduce his beloved with. Cooking could be very sensual, and dining by candlelight near a romantic fire even more. So Ruby, that was her name, was allowed to load and empty the dishwasher or to clean the kitchen floor, but she wasn't allowed to touch his appliances or any of his fancy kitchen gadgets. Which was okay for her, because she was a young woman in her mid-twenties, who had grown up with frozen pizza and convenience food and didn't even know that chicken soup didn't come out of a container but could be made from scratch.

By this morning, all the sorrow and sadness of the past evening had dissipated. After their talk Tony and Angela had snuggled on the couch for a while, listening to one of their favorite Dean Martin CDs. At some point, Angela had laid her head on Tony's lap and he had stroked her hair absent-mindedly, thinking about how their lives might have turned out, had he never gotten involved with Kathleen. Would they have ever started dating? For sure! Would they have married? Very likely! Would they have children? Probably, but how many? He couldn't tell. That was what life was like, you could never tell 'what if', Tony knew that contemplating about such things as 'what if' was a dead issue. Anyway, he had enough reasons to be very pleased with his life. He had two wonderful daughters and a great surrogate son, he had a meaningful, well-paid job, he lived in a cozy house, he was in good health, and most of all, he was in a wonderful relationship with the woman of his life. The only thing marring his happiness was the fact that Angela struggled so much with them not having children of their own. It was something he couldn't do anything about, and of course it was all his fault. For all in the world he had wanted to make her happy, but he had failed.

After a while, Dean Martin playing in an endless loop and singing 'Everybody Loves Somebody' for the third time, Angela had said up and had looked at him. "You know that I love you even if I'm not going to marry you, don't you?" she had said and Tony had nodded. Then she had given him a tender kiss, which Tony had reciprocated fervently. Throughout their relationship they had done quite a lot of kissing, even before they had become a couple. Both enjoyed the intimate touch established by a kiss on the mouth, their lips pressed together softly, tongues entwined, savoring the other's sweet taste. Nibbling at an earlobe or caressing the hollow of a neck could be almost as sensual and arousing as making love physically, actually is was part of their lovemaking. Not in the sense of foreplay but in the sense of abandoning oneself, of opening one's heart and soul to the other. It meant complete unison, just like the physical unison which sure enough followed afterwards most of the times, but not always. They felt like one when they kissed. Much so this time, when Angela had wanted to ensure Tony of her unconditional devotion even though she had refused to marry him.

Last night had been one they had finished things upstairs though. The difficult issue they had been dealing with after the proposal had simply built up too much tension which needed to be released somehow, and sex was a reliable method to release tension. After making love in a way which resembled their first time in the shed in Central Park very strikingly - an equal amount of tension had been released back then - they had been relieved and had fallen into a peaceful slumber spooned together in the bed they had been sharing for the last ten years.

In the morning, Angela felt reassured and light-hearted again. Tony understood her misgivings and was willing to postpone the matter. Maybe some day in the future she would be ready to marry him. Maybe when they had grandchildren to care for, when either Samantha or Jonathan had kids, she would be able to let go of her wish to have a child with him. A toddler sitting between them on the couch, calling them Nana and Gramps, might fill the void which was still so predominant for Angela. Spoiling their grandchild could compensate for the lack of opportunity to spill her motherly love on a child of their own.

"Good Morning, Beautiful," Tony said in return. "Wow, you look very spiffy today. Is there a special occasion?"

Angela was dressed very elegantly. She wore a tight white button-down shirt tucked into a dark blue pencil skirt which ended right above the knees. Her high heels matched in color and made her legs look longer and better-shaped than they were anyway. Around her neck Tony spied the pearl necklace he had given her for her 50th birthday.

"Ah well, there is this touchy client I have to charm the pants off today."

"I truly hope you only mean it in the figurative sense, Angela!" Tony loved to play the alpha male claiming his territory.

"Oh Tony, no need to be jealous. Mr Hofferman is way over 60, bald, and weighs at least twice as much as you. But his account is very important for the agency, so I have to deploy all my skills for this campaign. And with this power outfit, I'll make him increase his marketing budget in no time today!"

"I'm sure he'll eat out of your hands by noon." Tony looked admiringly at Angela. He was amazed by how this slight woman stood her grounds in the male-dominated business world day in day out. "I already poured you a glass of juice, and here's your coffee." He put a steaming mug on the table. "Can I enthuse you with a nutritious breakfast by any chance today?" Usually it was doomed to be a fruitless attempt to try coaxing her into eating something in the morning, but today he had the vague idea that she might have an appetite.

"Well, actually I _am_ a little hungry. I could be enthused for some scrambled eggs and a slice of buttered toast."

"Scrambled eggs and toast coming up in a minute, Mylady," Tony announced solemnly before he turned around to the stove. He broke three eggs, put them into a hot frying pan and started whisking with an ear-to-ear grin on his face. 'Amazing that a bit of physical exercise at night brings about such an appetite,' he silently said to himself and still indulged in the reminiscence of how the last evening had ended when he suddenly felt two arms encircling his waist from behind. Angela clung to his back, and he could smell the alluring scent he was so familiar with.

"Thank you, Tony, for not being mad at me."

"Why should I be mad at you?"

"Because I've ruined your proposal. Because I'm still having troubles dealing with circumstances I can't change."

Tony pulled the pan off the stove. He turned around and his eyes connected with hers.

"Sweetheart, we've proven that we don't need a wedding certificate to be happy. And although a rejection is always had to swallow, I understand what you've been trying to tell me. Just let me know when you're ready to talk about it again, okay? I don't give up hope that someday we'll end up as Mr and Mrs Micelli," he raised an eyebrow and kissed her on the forehead, "but for now, ... breakfast is served!"

Angela took a seat at the round kitchen table. After a few sips of orange juice she tried the scrambled eggs, "Hmmm, delicious. You know, I should have breakfast more often."

"You're preaching to the choir here, Miss I-don't-have-time-for-breakfast! I'm telling you for how long now that I want you to take your time in the morning and have something proper to eat, instead of just gulping down coffee and juice?"

"I know, I know! It's just that usually I don't really have an appetite in the morning. I guess I'm so hungry today because we didn't have dinner last night."

"If you say so, ..." Angela didn't get the teasing undertone in Tony's voice. According to him, they had indeed had dinner last night; they had consummated their love.

He sat beside her and started picking her scrambled eggs with a fork of his own. He looked at his watch. "If Lynnie doesn't show up within the next five minutes, I'll go and check on her."

Tony hadn't completely uttered his sentence, when the swinging door was pushed open and his daughter scuffed into the kitchen.

"Ah, there you are! Good Morning, Sweetie."

"Good Morning, Dad. Morning, Angela," Lynnie replied bleary.

"You look tired, Lynnie. Didn't you sleep well?" Angela looked at her, a little worried. The teenager usually jumped out of bed in the morning, creating a good mood in the entire house. But today she looked weary and distraught.

"No, not really."

"Is anything wrong?" Angela could read in the girl's face that something afflicted her. "Can I help?"

"No, thank you Angela. Everything's alright. There were just some thoughts on my mind, ..."

"Thoughts?" Tony was alarmed. A fifteen-year-old having thoughts on her mind which wouldn't let her sleep? It had to be about boys! 'Not again,' he silently prayed. Making it through Sam's puberty had been a rough ride, he wasn't sure whether he would survive another one of these difficult phases. "What thoughts? Boys thoughts?"

"Daaaad!" Lynnie rolled her eyes. She exchanged a glance with Angela, who couldn't completely suppress a grin.

"If one of these half-baked dudes is giving you a hard time, let me know," Tony insisted.

"And what would you do, Dad? Go to him and tell him, 'Leave my Lynnie alone!'? I can take care of myself! I'm not a baby anymore."

She sounded a bit ruder than she had intended. She knew that her father only looked out for her and wanted to protect her. But like every pubescent teenager she revolted against interfering adults and wanted to become independent of her parents, plus she was still disturbed about what she had heard the night before.

Her Dad had married her Mom although he had been in love with Angela. Her Dad, who always cultivated perfect manners. Who was so overly correct with everything. Who had grounded her umpteen times because she hadn't behaved right. Her Dad, the light tower of decency and honor! But she wouldn't call getting involved with two women simultaneously an acceptable behaviour, ... or smart, ... or honorable. Not at all! He most certainly would give her a piece of his mind if she dated two boys at the same time. Well, he would give her a piece of his mind even if she dated only one! He always gave her a piece of his mind.

"I'm your father, Lynnie. It's my job to take care of you," he pouted.

"Tony, relax," Angela seconded Lynnie, "let her have her breakfast in peace. I'm sure that if she needs your help or advice she'd come to you. Right, Lynnie?"

"Right."

Lynnie appreciated Angela's help. At times, she was the only one who was able to keep her father's overprotective mind in check. But this morning Lynnie felt uncomfortable in Angela's presence. And it dismayed her, for until today she had never felt uneasy when Angela was around. Quite the contrary! She had liked Angela from the moment she had seen her in the door frame the day her Dad had taken her to Fairfield for the first time. She had been five years old and had been dying to meet her father's former best friend. She had been even more eager to see the house he had told her about. When she had been asked a few months later whether she wanted to move into that house to live there, she had been thrilled. Angela and she had instantly found a common ground, and of course the child hadn't seen any reason why they shouldn't. Now Lynnie figured that it had to be quite hard for Angela. She had learned last night that herself was the reason her father had broken off with Angela all these years ago. Angela had been in love with him, and he had married her mother because she had been expecting her. She was at fault for Angela having been sad and lonely, while her father had cared for a family he had never planned to have.

So it was all the more surprising to Lynnie that Angela and she had gotten along so well all these years. The teenager felt a strong connection to her adult friend, but on the other hand she didn't want to be disloyal to her mother. She wasn't the caring and nurturing mother she had always wanted her to be - Angela was rather that kind of woman - but she was her biological mother after all, their connection was special. Wasn't blood said to be thicker than water? It was her obligation as a daughter to side with her mother, wasn't it? Angela had Tony, so she should back up Kathleen, right? If there only wasn't the nagging question at the back of her mind whether she had never been more than just a means to an end for her mother. Whether she had only been born in order to lock her father into marriage.

"Lynnie? Honey?" Lynnie was pulled out of her ruminations by Angela's compassionate voice. She had laid her hand on the girl's lower arm and squeezed it gently, "You seem a bit distracted."

"I'm fine. Just a bit tired, that's all." She forced a smile to appease the two adults scrutinizing her.

"Okay." Tony for his part was pleased. He put a plate with scrambled eggs in front of his daughter, and they all sat at the table in silence for a while.

"Dad, can I spend the weekend at Mom's?"

Angela looked up and Tony almost choked on his toast. "Huh?"

"Can I sp-"

"I heard what you said, Lynnie. I just don't understand! We have plans for the weekend, remember? We said we wanted to go and see the Mets and pay Mrs Rossini a visit," Tony reminded her.

"I know, Dad, but can't we do that some other time?" Lynnie asked.

"We can, but why is it so important to see you mother exactly this weekend? Can't it wait until the next, like it's been planned? You know how she hates it when her plans are knocked over. I keep on telling her to stick to the visiting arrangements all the time, and now you want me to change them?"

"I have to talk to her."

"What about?"

"Something personal. None of your business."

"None of my business? Since when are your personal affairs none of my business?" Tony was surprised and also hurt. Lynnie and he had always been very close, like two peas in a pod. They had been a great team, welded together from early on, and the way she slowly emancipated herself from him felt like an aching splinter in his heart.

"Tony," Angela felt it was time to intervene. He acted like a wounded animal and might say something he would regret. "Why don't you let her check with Kathleen whether it's okay if you switch the weekends. I'm sure you can visit Mrs Rossini some other day, and it won't be the last time the Mets play at Shea Stadium."

"Okay," Tony finally grunted. He knew that it was inevitable that his daughter eventually kept him at a distance, but that she wanted to talk to Kathleen about something personal she didn't want to share with him caused him almost physical pain. What could possibly be so urgent that it couldn't wait another week? Until today, Lynnie had rather tried to procrastinate meetings with her mother than antedating them. But he had learned from prior experiences that pubescent teenagers had to be left alone at times, that they had a right of privacy and of parents not interfering. So he bit his tongue and let her do what she wanted to do.

"Thank you, Dad." Lynnie put her fork on her empty plate and got up. "I have to go now. I'll call Mom when I'm back from school. Have a nice day you two. Bye."

"Bye, Sweetheart," Tony called after her but Lynnie had already exited the kitchen. He glanced at Angela, worried and doubtful. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know, Tony. I honestly don't know."


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

Kathleen had agreed to a change of visiting arrangements, but complained incessantly about it. Her initial plan had been to spend the weekend at a luxurious spa, paid for by her current boyfriend, a well-known gallery owner who cheated on his wife. But Lynnie had insisted that she really needed to talk to her, so she had finally given in. She had baked an apple pie, Lynnie's favorite, and had made a pot of tea. Like Tony and Angela, Kathleen had been somewhat surprised about Lynnie's request to change plans - the three of them finally having something in common - but now she was looking forward to spending a few days with her daughter.

There had been times Kathleen regretted having agreed on Lynnie living with Tony. Or more precisely, living with Tony and Angela. Right after the divorce, she hadn't been able to take care of the girl, who was a little over five years old and still in therapy after her terrible accident. She had had a full-time job she had really liked, and Tony had been on a leave of absence from his job giving him enough time to take Lynnie to her doctor's appointments and therapy sessions. So it had just made sense to allow her daughter to live with her ex-husband, accepting the undesirable side-effect that she would live in the same house as her archenemy.

The former spouses were getting along quite well, more often than not. That could be called a surprise, considering the unpleasant end of their marriage. Every second weekend Lynnie stayed with her mother and her respective boyfriend - and there had been quite a few over time. Tony didn't ask for child support, which she would've fought against in court anyway, given the fact that he was living in a solid relationship with a well-to-do woman. At the beginning Kathleen had thought that the reason for Tony and Angela not getting married was exactly because they wanted to sue her for child support. But she had been mistaken. Tony had never demanded a single dollar from her, and Angela never ever interfered. Her ex-husband only demanded that she respect the visiting agreements and stick to the appointed pick-up times. After she had once shown up unannounced in Fairfield, thus bursting in on a family dinner, Tony had made perfectly clear that he wanted her to respect the rules.

Sometimes Kathleen wished her daughter played a much more vital role in her life than she actually did. She knew she wasn't the motherly, devoted and self-sacrificing type of mother, like the perfect wives and mothers you could see on TV, who gave up their careers and put their children's and husband's needs always in first place. She just wasn't able to do that. A possible explanation might be that she had lost her own mother in her early childhood and lacked a role model. Another, and maybe more likely one was that she was a self-centered, narcissistic and selfish person. But you couldn't call her a bad mother. She loved Lynnie, she cared for her, and deep down in her soul she knew that leaving her with Tony had been the most altruistic decision she had ever made on her behalf.

"Mom, there's something I need to talk to you about," Lynnie started. She was nervous, and tense, and apprehensive, but she needed to know. She had always been closer to her father than her mother; she had been Daddy's little girl from the very beginning. Since her parents' roles had been reversed for as long as she could remember, it had always been the most natural thing that her father had stayed home and had looked after her whereas her mother had been away working. Only when she had stayed over at her friend's house had she realized that things were the other way around in other families. But she hadn't minded so much. She had always felt loved by both her parents, only that both showed her their love in very different ways.

"What is it, Princess?"

"Don't call me 'Princess', Mom! You know that I don't like it."

"Okay, okay! What is it, _Gwendolyn?_ Is that better?" It wasn't really. She preferred Lynnie, but Kathleen never called her Lynnie. She insisted on Gwendolyn, or Gwen, because she was named after her grandmother, and Kathleen didn't like the pet name Tony had given her. Lynnie had long ago given up trying to stop her mother from calling her that old-fashioned name which had actually never suited her. So she did what she always did and just ignored the issue.

"You always told me that Dad and you were a dream couple," she started and hoped that this rather general remark would already get her mother to talk.

"We were! We were a perfect match! Both from Brooklyn, college students, very serious about our second-chance education, I was a waitress and he was a housekeeper. We were meant for each other."

Okay, so she had to be a bit clearer. "But you never told me that he only proposed because you were pregnant."

Kathleen gasped with wide eyes. She was taken completely off guard, had expected anything but this as the topic they would be talking about, and had never wanted to have that conversation with her daughter. She knew that thinking she'd be able to hide that little detail from her forever had been childish, but now that she was actually confronted with the question her pulse accelerated and instantly put her in defensive mode.

"I wouldn't call it 'only'. Besides, who told you?"

"That's got nothing to do with it. The question is, why did _you_ never tell me?"

"Because it's of no importance! We would've married anyway. We were very much in love." Kathleen stood pat, her chin up. But she was nervous. She tried to hide it, but wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs and avoided Lynnie's glance.

"Really?"

"Who told you we weren't?" Kathleen demanded to know now, trying to gain some time to think. She didn't want to deal dishonestly with her daughter, so she weighed her words cautiously in order to not tell her too much. She didn't need to know everything.

"Nobody." She wasn't lying. Nobody had talked to her about it explicitly, she had simply overheard Angela's and her father's conversation.

"Is it true that I wasn't a planned child but conceived by accident?

"Says _who_? Your father's current girlfriend?" Kathleen asked, giving the word 'girlfriend' a pejorative ring.

"Her name is Angela. And she's not his 'current girlfriend'! He's lived with her longer than he was ever married to you."

Ouch!

"But she's the one who talked to you."

"No, I overheard a conversation between Dad and her."

"Have you been eavesdropping, young lady?" Kathleen tried to shift the charges against her daughter now.

"Nice try, Mom, but it's not me who we are talking about right now!"

Kathleen exhaled stagily. She slowly got the feeling that she wouldn't be let off the hook. One more try to beat about the bush. "They talked about how you were conceived? Don't they have a sex life of their own?"

"Well, they rather talked about marriage in general." Lynnie hesitated for a moment. She wasn't sure whether she should tell her mother but then decided, that she would find out sooner or later anyway. "Dad kind of proposed to Angela."

"Whaaaat? They are getting married?"

Until this day, it had given Kathleen an feeling of deep self-satisfaction that Tony and Angela had never married. It made her something special. As long as he didn't have a wife, being his ex-wife affiliated her with him. In her peculiar mind-set an 'ex-wife' counted more than a 'girlfriend' - or a 'confidante', or a 'soul mate', as he had liked to call her corrival. She couldn't make out Angela though. Why wouldn't she want to be married? Every woman wanted to be married! Being a divorcee was a stigma; a woman dumped by a man who wasn't able to share his life with her anymore. What a vilification!

"Angela didn't accept."

Kathleen gave a mocking laugh. "I always knew this woman was too snobbish to marry her housekeeper. Or ex-housekeeper." She had always figured that the difference in social status had been the reason then, and still was today, that Angela had never been willing to make her relationship to her former employee official. This woman had always believed herself to be greater than everyone else. She was self-employed, self-sufficient, and independent! Ha! Other words for being a wallflower.

"That's not the reason, Mom, but I haven't come here to talk about them getting married or not. I asked you something! Why did you never tell me that Dad and you had to get married just to let me be a legitimate child? Didn't you think I had the right to know?"

"We were very much in love, Sweetheart, and your father was thrilled when I told him I was expecting."

"It sounded different when Dad talked about it."

"What did he say?"

"That you had tricked him. That he had actually wanted to break up with you, but felt the obligation to propose because you were pregnant."

"He told you that?"

"No! Don't you listen to me, Mom? I've just told you that I overheard a conversation."

"His proposal."

"Yes, his proposal. But I don't want to talk about _him_ right now, but about _you_. Did you?"

"Did I do what?"

"Cheat on him with birth control?" Lynnie spoke loudly now, the impatience in her voice unmistakable.

Kathleen felt like being interrogated, and she didn't like it. So she remained silent. But she should've known better. If Lynnie was anything like her, it was her stubbornness which was a striking resemblance. Lynnie was determined, she wanted to know and she wouldn't give in. "Mom?" she uttered sharply.

"'Cheating' is a strong word. I didn't _cheat_ on him. He left birth control to me, like men always do, and I accidentally failed to take care of it once or twice. So it eventually happened. I got pregnant. If it had been so out of the question for him to have a baby with me, he could've used a condom. But he didn't. So I assumed he wanted it as much as I did." That was the pretext she had been calming her bad conscience with ever since she'd made the plan all these years ago.

"Didn't it matter to you that he was in love with another woman?"

"What other woman? You mean Angela? His so-called _boss_? He always insisted there was nothing between them."

"But there was, and you knew it, didn't you?"

"Of course I did! It was so obvious, although they weren't dating or anything, they only lived together under one roof. But Angela couldn't hide her jealousy from me, and your father stood me up so many times because of her particular needs. I only had to put two and two together. They were more than employer and employee to each other. I knew. And they knew. Everybody knew! The neighbors had been gossiping about them for years. It wasn't always easy for me. I was his girlfriend, and I wanted him to be with me instead of her. That's no crime! I loved him. I had to take matters into my own hands if I didn't want to lose him!"

It still hurt her that Tony had never been fully committed to her, not for a single day in their relationship. And that he had gotten involved with Angela right after their divorce bugged her to this very day. It made her feel like he she had been nothing but an interlude for him, something he regretted now in retrospect, something which had never been supposed to be forever. And of course it hadn't slipped her attention that her ex-husband had literally thrived at Angela's side. He had graduated after all, had become a respected professor at the college they had once attended as students, and every time he came to her house to pick up Lynnie she could read from his demeanor that he was happy, happier than he had ever been with her. He still looked good - well-trained body, thick full hair, winning smile. Deep down she knew that he was a good man, reliable, reasonable and decent. Unlike the other men she had been with since then, some of them cheating on their wives or abandoning their kids.

If he only hadn't been so bewitched by this woman! This woman, who was so different from her. Who had been born with the proverbial silver spoon in her mouth. Who had been sent to the best private schools and had been brought up in an environment of affluence, intellectuality and refined society. Angela's family belonged to the New England aristocracy, to Connecticut's high society so to speak, and Kathleen had always been intimidated. Even when she had first been called and invited over to her house for a study session with their study group. Her house had been impressive, especially compared to the tiny apartment she lived in at the time. Angela's manners had been impeccable, her look elegant. She had walked around the house in a tight business suit, high heels, with perfect make-up and hair. Kathleen had never been dressed like this in her entire life, yet Angela did every day! She had been an attractive woman, no doubt about it, and she still was, ... Tony had taste, Kathleen had to admit. Angela was still slender, her blond hair shoulder-length and perfectly trimmed. Her skin, although the first fine wrinkles showed around her eyes, was radiant and firm. Men certainly fell for her easily, even at that age, and she bet that there were a lot of fellow ad execs who made approaches to her. Why for god's sake was she so crazy about Tony? _Her_ Tony!

What bugged Kathleen most was that now, over time, Angela had outdone her appearance-wise. All these years ago age had played to her very own advantage. She was younger than Angela, had been wilder and more spontaneous, not trapped down by a job or family. Angela wasn't only older than she, and even older than Tony, she also had been settled with responsibilities for a business and a son. But today, you couldn't tell which of the two women was younger. As a matter of fact, people would say that Angela had aged better than Kathleen. Kathleen had gained some weight; she wasn't fat or anything, but a size zero was out of the question. Her blond hair showed its first streaks of grey, and when she was off a relationship, having nobody to sponsor her visits to the hairdresser, she just couldn't afford regular trimming and dyeing. Her eyes were encircled with clearly visible crow's feet, and her skin had aged prematurely from too much sunbathing. More than ever, Kathleen felt second class to Angela. But it most certainly didn't make her back down, instead it had rather the opposite effect; she overreacted and fired indiscriminately whenever she felt challenged.

The only field she felt having the edge over Angela was motherhood, and Kathleen silently congratulated herself from time to time that she had outwitted her opponent so easily with making Tony the father of her child. If this woman had been so classy or morality-driven to not let him into her bed without being married, well, she hadn't! And every time one of their rare encounters left a bitter aftertaste on her tongue, she washed it away with the sweet self-satisfaction of having succeeded in keeping Tony away from Angela long enough until her childbearing years were finally over. She would never be able to give him what she had given him ... a child! Okay, he was Jonathan's surrogate father - granted! - but that wasn't the same. They lived this silly little pretense of an harmonious patchwork family out there in this country house, but Tony and she had more than only patchwork, they had the real thing! A biological connection through blood relationship. That counted more than being only emotionally related, right? An emotional connection could be released any time, a biological one couldn't!

"Mom? Hello-ho!" Lynnie waved with her hand in front of Kathleen's face, thus pulling her out of her temporary musing.

"What?"

"I asked you why it didn't bother you that Dad was in love with Angela when he married you."

"It didn't bother me because he wasn't!" One could almost hear the exclamation mark Kathleen put behind that sentence. She pressed the words through gritted teeth, staring Lynnie into the eye to reinforce her argument. "He had a silly crush on her, that ... was ... all! And I can't tell you what she saw in him. Maybe it was his physique, his athletic body. I bet with all this sitting behind their desks these business people don't have such gorgeous asses!"

"Oh please, spare me my father's physical advantages!"

Kathleen sighed. Thinking about Tony's perfect body still gave her shivers. "They had been living together for more than six years when your father and I met, so if they had been so much in love, as you are trying to tell me, then why hadn't they dated? Why hadn't they confessed their love?"

That was something that bewildered Lynnie as well. Lynnie, being a teenaged girl still unfamiliar with love's trials and tribulations, couldn't think of a reason why two people who loved each other so much worked so hard to stay apart. Kathleen for her part preferred her very own interpretation, namely that Angela and Tony had simply never been meant for each other.

"Can we drop this topic now? I don't want to waste my weekend talking about my ex-husband and his floozy," Kathleen finally tried to put an end to the conversation.

"Would you please stop calling Angela names, Mom! She's very kind to me, and you know that I like her a lot."

"Whatever," Kathleen answered dismissively.

'Interesting,' Lynnie thought, 'that Angela never speaks of my mother in such a condescending tone.' If she ever spoke of her at all, she was calm and composed. Never had Lynnie heard her using bad words or speaking ill of her. As a matter of fact, she hadn't even known that Angela disliked her mother until she had overheard her explaining why she coulnd't marry her Dad.

Her mother probably thought that she was through with asking, that all her questions had been answered. But that was far from true! Numerous questions she was dying to get answers for still flashed up in her mind, and she was determined to get those answers. Well, she still had the whole weekend ahead of her. There was enough time to drill her mother with questions until her urge for knowledge would eventually be satisfied.


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

Angela hadn't had such a bad day in a long time. Actually not since they were a couple. One couldn't say that their relationship was one single bliss of love, they had their share of fights; silly little arguments and tough discussions, fights which lasted only a couple of minutes and others which left them mad at each other for days. But never had she been afraid to lose him, never had she felt they could be pulled apart again.

Not even once.

Not until today.

Today she was scared that it might start all over again, because he was with her!

It wasn't the first time Tony had headed for her place. But normally, he would just go there to either drop Lynnie off or pick her up. Today, he had gone there to talk to her.

Alone.

Just the two of them.

Tony and Kathleen.

Angela knew she was overreacting, and she was angry at herself that she didn't have her feelings under control. Tony loved her, she was absolutely sure about it. She trusted him completely and was positive that he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. It was Kathleen she mistrusted. She had learned from experience that she didn't play fair and didn't stop short of manipulating people. But what worried Angela the most was that Kathleen held the trump card to Tony's heart in her hand, and that was Lynnie. She had already dragged Tony away from Angela once using their unborn daughter, she wouldn't hesitate a second to do it again if she thought it might work to her advantage. Angela had no doubt about it. So from the minute Tony had left the house she had been apprehensive, and now she was slowly going crazy.

Tony had assured Angela that he went there just to have a quick talk. But he had withheld from her that his ex-wife had demanded to talk to him about something Lynnie had told her about last weekend. She hadn't been more precise, but flaring up on the phone, berating him, accusing him of putting their daughter at odds with her. Tony hadn't known what this was all about, all he had noticed was that Lynnie had returned from the weekend with her mother more tense and bad-tempered than ever. She had hardly talked to him ever since, neither to Angela, but wouldn't confide in them either about what had happened at her mother's house. So going over to Kathleen's had been the only way to find out what was going on.

_ "Sweetheart, she's having ulterior motives. I know!" _

_ "She just wants to talk to me about Lynnie, Angela. Nothing else!" _

_ "How can you be so naive, Tony? She's never 'just' done anything. She always has something in mind."_

_ "Relax, Angela, no need to be paranoid! And besides, give me a little credit. I can handle her. I'm a big boy!"_

_ "I don't have a good feeling about this." _

_ "You'll see, I'll be back by noon and we'll both have a good laugh about it." _

Well, he hadn't been really sure about it himself_._

Angela had dreaded Tony meeting Kathleen for a so-called parental talk. So far, Kathleen had never cared to arrange with Tony when it came to Lynnie. She had always done what she wanted and thought necessary. That she had now asked for his opinion all of sudden had raised a flag at the back of Angela's mind. Tony had left the house this morning, it was a quarter to three now, almost three hours past noon. Where was he? What were they talking about? Angela's thoughts were running amok, her fears were almost suffocating her. Why hadn't she intervened? Why had she let him go? She had left the battlefield to Kathleen once and had paid bitterly for it. In an unsuccessful attempt to calm her nerves she had loaded the dishwasher, folded the laundry, scrubbed the toilet, and had eaten three pieces of chocolate cake. Nothing had helped! Now she was sitting on the couch, biting fingernails and picturing the worst scenarios. Her fears were getting the better of her, and she was upset with herself because of it. She should've been more self-confident, more self-assured about her relationship to Tony. But she just couldn't help it, she was scared she might lose him once again to Kathleen.

Suddenly she heard a key turning in the lock of the front door. She jumped off the couch and stared at the opening door in worried anticipation.

"Hello," Tony said matter-of-factly when he spotted Angela. He forced a weak smile, turned towards the coat-tree to hang up his jacket, then walked past Angela without even looking at her. She, on the contrary, didn't take her eyes off him and watched every single move of his. Because he didn't show any indication to start the conversation, she finally broke the silence.

"Where have you been?"

"You know where."

"For so long? What did the two of you have to talk about for so long? I was worried about you."

"No need to worry."

"Really?" Angela laid her hand on Tony's lower arm to make him look at her, but he avoided her eyes.

"I need a drink!"

Tony left Angela where she was standing and walked over to the cabinet to get a whiskey tumbler.

"At this time of the day?"

Angela was all alarmed now. She watched Tony pouring himself a whiskey, gulping it down and pouring another one. He put the bottle back into the cabinet, walked over to one of the armchairs and sat down absent-mindedly. Angela's antennas kept signalling like crazy and nervousness slowly crept up her spine. She had spent the entire day pacing back and forth through the house, her heart rate at an unusual high. Tony visiting Kathleen had brought back painful memories, and Angela had found herself in a situation she had hoped to never face again. It was like she was thrown back in a time capsule to a phase of her life she had been helpless, miserable and ineffably unhappy. Time hadn't healed the wounds. She still felt threatened by this woman. It hadn't changed one bit despite all these years which had gone by, and despite the wonderful life she shared with Tony as a couple. And the fact that Tony was so contemplative and withdrawn only made things worse. At a certain point, Angela couldn't stand the tension anymore.

"Tony, would you please be so kind and tell me what happened," she demanded, and as he didn't say anything right away she pleaded, "Come on, throw me a bone!"

"You were right," he eventually answered without looking at her.

"Right with what?"

"With her having ulterior motives."

"Oh, ..." Angela held her breath.

"She made a pass at me. Said she wanted me back."

Angela closed her eyes and swallowed hard. A cold shudder ran down her spine. "I knew it! What did you say to her?"

Tony didn't answer her, he didn't even look at Angela.

"Tony! What - did - you - say - to - her?"

"Nothing. ... I was completely taken off guard. I was unable to cope with the situation."

"Now, that's rich! Really, Tony! She'll take your hesitation for an invitation to continue." Angela tore her hair and started pacing through the living room again. "This woman is like a recurring nightmare! Bitch!"

"Angela, watch your language, please. You're talking about Lynnie's mother."

Angela's jaw dropped. "Are you defending her?"

"No, Angela, of course not! But I have to get along with 'this woman' somehow. She's Lynnie's mother and we have joint custody. I simply have to keep up a relationship with her that works. And besides, I don't want Lynnie to overhear that we talk of her like this." Why he wasn't telling her that he had learned from Kathleen that his daughter had overheard not only his proposal but also the reason Angela had given him why she couldn't accept, he didn't know. Maybe because he was still dumbfounded about it himself and didn't have any idea of how to talk to Lynnie about it.

"I see."

Angela folded her arms in front of her chest. If Tony had been able to have a glimpse at her soul at that moment, he would've seen hurt, confusion and disillusion in there. She would never be at ease with Kathleen. She constantly interfered with their lives, every second weekend. And every second weekend Angela worked hard to put on a good face to the matter. She didn't want Lynnie to know how much she disliked her mother, so she gulped down every snide remark which showed up at the tip of her tongue when Lynnie was around. But that Tony asked her now to refrain from speaking ill of her to him was too much for her at a moment she was emotionally unstable. She deemed it best to withdraw and bring her emotions back under control before she started an argument.

"Look, Tony, there's a lot of paper work waiting for me in my study. Can we talk about this some other time?"

"Okay," was all Tony said.

"Okay," Angela whispered abstractedly.

* * *

><p>Tony had gone into the kitchen and had started to prepare Boeuf Bourgignon with potatoes and vegetables. He knew that Angela probably wouldn't join him for dinner. Not because she had so much work to do. The food smelled delicious, and normally it would lure her out of her sanctuary in no time no matter how many folders she still had to work through. But today was no normal day. Today he had been at Kathleen's and he had told her about his ex-wife's silly advances. 'Tony, you're still pretty sexy, you know that?' she had said, starting to unbutton her blouse. He had almost burst out laughing upon that remark, but the laughter got stuck in his throat when he had realized she was serious about it. Fumbling at his shirt, she had continued in a lustful voice, 'We were always good in bed together. We made Lynnie. Come on, for once you can have a real woman with curves and boobs instead of that uptight, flat-chested, thin rake you have at home.' He hadn't believed his ears and had only stared at Kathleen in complete shock. Tony shook his head to banish that unpleasant incident from his memory.<p>

At some point, the meat was simmering on the stove and everything else was prepared, so in lack of having anything to do Tony sat at the kitchen table propping his head with his hands. He was wondering what had made his world tumble all of a sudden. Only a few days ago he had been the happiest man on earth, proposing to the woman he loved more than himself. Since then, things kept going wrong - Angela hadn't accepted, Lynnie had cancelled their weekend plans for Brooklyn and seemed to have locked herself in her room ever since, his ex-wife had made a fool of herself today, and the worst thing of all, he was at odds with Angela.

Tony had the feeling he lost the grip on his life, and he didn't really know why. But he wasn't willing to simply let everything run its course. He didn't care so much about his relationship to Kathleen, but Lynnie mattered. The girl had found out that her parents had hidden something from her for all these years, something which turned her world upside down. Kathleen hadn't been able to ease the girl's mind obviously, or maybe she was the reason that his daughter was so upset. He had to find out. He needed to talk to his daughter, definitely, no matter if she wanted or not. But first, he had to clear up the misunderstandings with Angela.

* * *

><p><em>Knock. Knock.<em>

"Come in."

Tony opened the door to Angela's study and peeked through the crack. "Angela, we have to talk."

"Okay, I can't concentrate on my work anyway."

She was sitting at her desk but didn't even try to give the impression that she was working. Tony could see that she had been crying, and he felt a cold fist embracing his heart. Never ever had he wanted to make her cry again. But truth be told, he didn't completely understand her either. Why was she so tense? She didn't even know yet that Lynnie had heard why she refused to marry him. She didn't really believe that he would get involved with his ex-wife again, did she?

"Why are you so on edge, Angela?"

"Are you really asking me this, Tony?"

"Yes, there's no need to be hysterical about Kathleen. What she did doesn't mean anything."

"Hysterical? You're calling me hysterical? I don't get it! I believe I have every reason to be on edge, Tony." She turned around and looked at him very earnestly. "When you pleaded with me ten years ago to let you back into my life you promised me something. You promised me to never hurt me again. You promised to love and cherish me until the end of our lives. And I trusted you. I'm holding you to that promise now!"

"But I do love you, Angela! There's no need to question my love for you," Tony insisted. "The only thing I'm asking for is a little understanding for the delicate situation I'm in."

"The last time I understood your delicate situation, contenting myself with staying at the sideline, I ended up in hospital. I won't let that happen to me again, Tony! It was the worst time of my life, and I can't go through something like this once more. I have to protect myself. I will never be at ease about her. I'm sorry if I sound melodramatic, but don't ask me for understanding when it comes to Kathleen. This woman has taken the love of my life from me with a dirty trick, and I'm sure she wouldn't stop at using another mean trick to yield an advantage. And if I hear that she made a pass at you, I simply can't imagine that she did it without having anything in mind. I'm sorry, ..."

"She's Lynnie's mother, Angela. I can't cut her out of our lives completely, even if I wanted to," Tony tried to explain his predicament.

"I know, and there are days I'm not able to deal with this situation very well. Today is one of those days."

"So, how are we gonna solve this then?"

"I have no idea."

Angela turned around without any further words and left Tony behind. He cringed because of the déjà-vu he was having. Angela had ditched him like this before - same spot, same topic, same inertia. They had spoken about what his relationship to Kathleen meant for them after having confessed that he had slept with Kathleen. He hadn't known then that this single night with her would set off an avalanche of events they would still be struggling with years later.

Was Kathleen supposed to be his bitter fate? Would she haunt him until the end of time?

Of course she would, they had a daughter together. That was what Angela had been talking about when she hadn't accepted his proposal. Being the parents to Lynnie tied them together for good. She would never let him live in peace with Angela. He suddenly realized what a jerk he had been asking Angela for understanding. If he put himself in her shoes just for a second, he would even feel her pain. He hadn't lost neither his sensibility nor his senses. Only that he hadn't done anything in an attempt not to make any mistakes. That behavior pattern seemed familiar! He tried so badly to be a good father to Lynnie, a fair ex-husband to Kathleen and a loyal partner to Angela - all at the same time - that today for some odd reason he hadn't been able to deliver on the latter in particular. But for nothing in the world would he jeopardize his relationship to Angela once again. So he turned on the spot and chased after her, striding through the living room this time, not poking along like then. Today he made it just in time, she was still there, putting on her coat for a walk outside. Back then he had been too late and had only been able to watch her leave.

"Angela, wait! Mind if I joined you?"

Angela shook her head, so he grabbed his jacket too, opened the front door and let her pass in front of him. It was a warm October afternoon. The sun was shining through some scattered clouds and bathed the environment into a golden light. The trees were already naked by now, there were red and orange leaves everywhere on the pavement. In some places they had been swept up to huge piles by their neighbors, waiting until the next gust of wind would scatter them all over the place again.

They walked side by side in silence for a few minutes. At some point Tony dared to take Angela's hand and was relieved when she didn't pull it back. He cupped her delicate fingers with his strong hand and squeezed them gently. Like this, they made their way to a little park close by. It was deserted, for it was already quite late, just before sunset. The gravel scrunched beneath their feet and a misty fog started to develop on a little pond in the middle of the park. Tony knew that if he wanted to talk to her, he had to be the one starting the conversation.

"Can we talk?"

"I thought that was why you came along."

"Right." Tony took a deep breath, but didn't know what to say. His mind was overflowing with unsorted thoughts and he didn't know where to start. So he simply looked at her with puppy eyes. Just like back then in her study. Another déjà-vu.

Then Angela broke the silence, "Tony, can you imagine how I feel?"

"Yes."

"Tell me! What do you think how I feel?"

"Hurt. Left out. Reminded of how it used to be. Afraid that it might never be over."

"That pretty much wraps it up. Add helpless and disappointed, then you'll understand why I am on edge."

"Angela, the only reason that I'm still dealing with her is because of Lynnie. I don't have any interest in her as a woman. You once asked me whether it was over and I told you I didn't know, but today I know! I've known for more then ten years now! You have to believe me."

"Oh Tony, I do, " she sighed heavily, "but what am I supposed to think when you tell me that she made a pass at you? What does she expect to achieve by that?"

"She knows that I proposed to you," Tony let Angela know finally.

"You told her?" she asked surprised.

"No. Lynnie did."

"Lynnie?" Angela blinked in astonishment.

"Yes. It seems as if she overheard our conversation the other night."

Angela set her eyes on him in shock. "Oh boy! How much did she hear?"

"Everything, Angela. She heard everything. What we said about Jamaica. Why I married Kathleen. That you don't want to marry me because we don't have any children of our own."

"Now I get it, that's why she hardly speaks to me anymore. She must think that I split her parents apart," Angela assumed, "Poor girl! Her world must have collapsed."

"And that is why she so badly wanted to talk to Kathleen last weekend."

"You have to talk to her, Tony! I told you many times that you should tell her everything about Kathleen, you and me. She's old enough to understand. At least some of it."

"I know. If I only knew how! Can we do that together, Angela? I need you help. And besides, there is no 'me' in this, there's only an 'us'." Tony looked beseechingly at her. He was at the verge of tears. Her support and understanding was vital to him.

"Angela, do you still have faith in us?"

"Of course I do!"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Okay, listen to me! Listen carefully! ... I _assure_ you that I won't make the same mistake twice. I made a wrong decision once, and we both paid for it. If I could turn back time, I'd change the course of events, but I can't. What I _can_ do though is decide what our future is going to be like. And I won't let Kathleen harm our relationship all over again, believe me. I'd be a fool if I put at risk what we have. The last ten years have been the best of my life. I haven't proposed without a reason, ..." Tony stepped closer to Angela, who in search of physical support had leaned with her back against a huge oak tree. Holding both her hands now he appealed to her, "I love you. And I'm sorry for the way I reacted when I came home. I was a jerk! Once again! You're not hysterical, and you're not melodramatic. You're insecure and vulnerable. I understand. And I will make you feel better. This I promise with my heart. You have to believe me! ... Do you believe me?"

"Yes," she whispered once again.

"Wonderful."

Tony once inhaled and exhaled heavily. He needed to get his pulse back under control. Then he leaned in for a kiss. When their lips met, she slightly opened hers invitingly and he more than willingly let his tongue caress hers. It was the sweetest kiss he had ever tasted. When they pulled apart, Angela's eyes fluttered open and transfixed him.

"Tony Micelli, do I really have to marry you to finally make you mine?"

"Angela, are you proposing to me?"

"No. It was just a question."

"What if I said yes? Marry me to make me yours! I don't care what your motives are, as long as you marry me." He showed her a sly grin.

"We'll see." She smiled at him, widely, lovingly, her eyes sparkling.

"I can live with that."

"Good!"

"Good."

Tony placed one more tender kiss on her mouth, then he took her hand and pulled her away from the tree she was still leaning on. "Let's go home, Angela. It's getting cold. And there's a wonderful Boeuf Bourgignon waiting for us on the stove." He put his arm around her shoulder and pressed her body against his. He felt the tension fall off of him as well as of her. Now he only had to deal with his daughter, who had distanced herself from him because of what she had learned about his relationship to her mother. And he had to deal with his ex-wife, who had started to play games. But he had straightened out matters with Angela, and that had been on top of Tony's list. Without her, nothing would've made sense anymore.

'One down, two more to go,' he heard his inner voice tell him.


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

On their way back from the park, Tony and Angela had decided that the matter bore no delay, they had to talk to Lynnie right away. So as soon as they got home, Tony knocked at his daughter's door.

"Lynnie, Sweetheart, can Angela and I talk to you for a minute?"

"Uh, Dad, there is this paper due next week, ..." she tried, but was cut off by her father.

"It's important, Lynnie. Please!"

It wasn't a plead, it was a request. So Lynnie got off her bed and followed her father downstairs. From Angela's eyes she could read that this would be no easy talk. 'Mom must've talked to them,' instantly went through her mind. She took a deep breath to calm down her accelerating pulse and remained standing in the middle of the living room. She folded her arms in front of her chest and tried to sound as clueless as possible.

"What is it, Dad?"

"I spoke to your mother today, Lynnie. She told me what you were talking about last weekend," Tony updated her.

"Oh, ... that."

Tony looked at Angela for help, but she threw him a 'it's-your-daughter-you-go-first' look back.

"What you heard must have turned your world upside down, I guess. How do you feel?"

"Like an idiot!" Lynnie replied sharply, "Like my parents still think I'm a baby who cannot bear the truth!"

"Ey-oh, you're no idiot, and I know that you're not a baby anymore."

"Then why are you treating me like one? You should've told me!"

"Told you what?"

"That you never wanted to have me."

That was what troubled her the most. Lynnie felt unwanted and unloved. She hadn't been really close to her mother all these years, so it hadn't come as a complete surprise that there had never been a time it had been different, but she couldn't make sense of what she had learned about her father. They had been a dream team as long as she could remember. He had always been there for her. If it hadn't been for him, she would've never fully recovered from her accident; he had gathered the money to pay the best doctors, had taken her to countless therapies and had lived only for her at that time. He had fought like a lion to make her live with him after the divorce, and he used every opportunity to show her how proud he was and how much he loved her. He loved her just like he loved Sam, at least she had been thinking he did. But how was it possible if he had never wanted to have her in the first place?

"That is not true, Lynnie!"

"But you said that you wanted to be with Angela and only didn't break up with Mom because I was on the way."

"You're right, I hadn't planned to start a family with your mother, but when she told me she was expecting I proposed only _because_ I wanted to have you!"

"But not because you were in love with her."

Tony looked at Angela again, then answered his daughter's question without averting his gaze, "No, I was in love with someone else."

"We can talk openly, can't we?" She threw her father a challenging look. "You were in love with Angela, Dad, but married Mom! I didn't know that you were okay with dating two people at a time!"

"Angela and I weren't dating."

"But you just told me that you were in love with her."

"It was a complicated situation."

Lynnie wasn't in the mood for beating around the bush, nor for excuses. She wanted to talk plainly. To learn about one's roots was important. Things had never been like in other families, having a working Mom and a stay-at-home Dad, but she had always thought that how she came into life had at least been the usual way - a woman and a man in love sleeping with each other and being gleefully happy about the baby they were expecting. That was the way it was in the movies, and that was the way it should be. Lynnie wasn't naïve, of course she knew that real life wasn't like in the movies, but she wished that at least some parts of her life were just like anybody else's. That was why she wanted to find out everything, and that was why she wouldn't spare them any questions. She had interrogated her mother a few days ago, since then she knew one side of the story. Now she was hell-bent to find out about the other one.

"Did you ever love Mom, or was she just a fling because you couldn't wind up in Angela's bed?"

"Wo-ho, Lynnie, hold your horses! Angela will not be spoken to in that tone of voice by any of my children!"

"Tony!" Angela tried to appease. Lynnie hadn't inherited so much of Tony's appearance - she was blond, had blue eyes and a light complexion - but there was no denying of his Italian temper in her. She knew that if she didn't call them both to order, they might end up shouting at each other.

"No, Angela! I understand that she's mad, but if she wants to be mad, she can be mad at me. You didn't do anything wrong!"

"So, you admit it? You cheated on Angela with Mom! Or was it the other way around?" Lynnie didn't back down one bit, churned up by emotions.

"Watch your tongue, young lady! You don't know anything about what was going on at the time, so don't start throwing accuses around."

"Guys, calm down, both of you!" Angela cut in once again. Her voice of reason was definitely called for. "Lynnie, your father is right. We weren't dating. He wasn't cheating on anybody."

"But I don't understand, Angela. He said he loved you, then how come he got involved with my Mom?"

"Well, it was very complicated," Angela repeated what Tony had just said two minutes ago, lacking any better explanation for the inquiring teenager.

"Oh, come on! It's not that complicated! Either you love someone, or you don't!"

"Love can be a tricky feeling, Lynnie," Angela tried to explain, "you'll see when you're a bit older. It's not only black or white, there are a lot of shades in between. Sometimes you fall in love with someone head over heels, some other time your love grows only very slowly. You can have a silly crush on someone or love him with all your heart. You can deny being in love, or you can persuade yourself being in love."

"It seems as if I did both," Tony mumbled more to himself that to the two women, but Lynnie heard him nonetheless.

"You denied being in love with Angela, and persuaded yourself being in love with Mom?"

"I guess so."

"What about me?"

"I have _always_ loved you. Didn't have to persuade myself! From the first moment I held you in my arms."

"Did you ever regret having me?"

Tony answered without hesitating a second. "Never!"

"If you could turn back time, would you do things the same way?"

"I can't turn back time, so there's no use contemplating about it."

"So you don't regret anything?"

That was a difficult question. He regretted a lot of things, and he had often asked himself what would've happened if he hadn't given in to his sudden lust that night at the motel with Kathleen. If their study group hadn't gone to the hotel, if the others had stayed longer, if he had left it to be a one-night stand, ... What should he tell his daughter? She was the only good thing which had come out of this mess, and she was the only reason he hadn't become completely exasperated with his life at the time.

"I regret having hurt Angela. I regret having abandoned Jonathan and Mona. I regret not having been completely sincere with your Mom. But I _never_ regretted having you!"

"And you?" Lynnie turned to Angela.

"Me?"

"Yes, you! It must have been difficult for you to invite me to live in your house. Have you never despised me?"

"Lynnie, we live under the same roof for ten years now, don't you think you would've noticed if I had ever despised you?"

"Really never?"

"Never! If there was one person who was absolutely innocent of the mess we were in, it was you!"

Angela had thought about her relationship to Lynnie a lot over the years. She had tried to find guidebooks, but of course their situation had been so unique that there were none treating explicitly their kind of relationship. So she had turned to books dealing with step-mothers, mailman's children, betrayed wives, and adoption in general, but none had fitted and hadn't been of any help. If she had simply listened to her heart, she would've understood that she actually didn't need any external advice, that she knew deep down that she was able to cope with Lynnie being Kathleen's daughter. But Angela wouldn't be Angela if she wasn't always looking for credible evidence and rational explanation. So she had spoken to Doctor Bellows a few times about it, and she had been the one to tell Angela that it was okay for her to like the child, that she wasn't a dumb masochist caring for a girl that much who wasn't her own. The academic's opinion had finally eased her mind and she had allowed herself to first like and later love Lynnie. She couldn't tell the exact moment when it had happened, but she remembered that one day she had realized that she loved Tony's daughters equally much.

"But you despise my mother," Lynnie noted unemotionally.

"Uh, well, ..." Angela cleared her throat, that most certainly was another piece of cake.

"Come on, Angela! Be honest! I can't imagine that you don't despise her. I remember a talk we had when I was little, when you visited Dad and me in our apartment. You said that Mom and you met at an inappropriate time and place and that was why you two didn't get along well. That was a little understated, wasn't it?"

Angela chewed on her lower lip. It was a bit awkward to talk to a teenager about all this, but Lynnie deserved to know. And she was rather mature compared to other kids her age.

"You were five years old, Lynnie. What was I supposed to tell you? That your Mom cheated on your Dad with birth control? That we don't get along well because we love the same man? If it had been Tony's own decision to start a family with her instead of me, I could've lived with it. It would've been hard because I loved him, but I would've gotten over it eventually. I was used to being rejected and dumped since I was a teenager. But it was different. Your mother used one of the oldest female tricks to bind a man, and I felt betrayed by her, yes! The only thing which kept me going was that I still had Tony as my friend. Our friendship was very profound and very precious to me. I had controlled my feelings for him so long, I knew I could go on with it. But when he broke off our friendship, I was devastated. My life was just unimaginable without him! That was the moment I felt betrayed by your father, too. I felt betrayed by everyone. By life in itself. I had a very bad time afterwards."

"If you felt so betrayed by him, then why did you give him the money for my treatment?"

Another sharp inhale from Angela. This was a tough conversation, bringing back so many painful memories.

"I remember the night he stood in front of my door, rain dripping from his nose, his face like a mask, with empty eyes. He was a picture of misery because of your accident. How could I not help him? Besides, he hadn't come for his own sake, but only for yours."

"You didn't charge him with asking you for money after having broken off your friendship?"

"No, not for having come to me, but for having sneaked out silently the next morning. I felt used, and dumb, and naïve."

Tony moaned. It still caused him physical pain to think back to the way he had mistreated Angela in that situation.

Lynnie looked at Angela. She was touched by her open honesty. Never before had an adult spoken to her so profoundly about his or her own inner turmoil. She felt secure enough to ask Angela something else, something which troubled her since she had asked her mother about it.

"Angela, may I ask you something personal?"

"Well, you've been doing that for some time already," Angela let out a distressed laugh, "one more personal question or less won't make a difference." She inhaled deeply, having her eyes closed.

"I'm sorry if I'm causing you discomfort, Angela, but I need to know!"

"Just go ahead."

"What is it like to have a baby?"

Angela was a bit surprised about the sudden change of subject, but also grateful, for it evoked more pleasant memories than the painful time after Tony had broken off with her. She smiled, revelling in the time she had been pregnant with Jonathan.

"Aaaww, Lynnie, having a baby with the man you love is the most wonderful thing in life!"

"So Jonathan was a planned child?"

"Oh yes! Michael and I were married for two years and decided to start a family. When I found out that I was pregnant I was so happy. Of course I thought that my husband would stay home more often after our baby was born, ..." Angela sighed, "but well, he just wasn't the family man type. Contrary to your father, Lynnie. Tony's a passionate father, you're lucky to have someone like him."

"Isn't it a burden to go through pregnancy and delivery?"

"No, not at all! Well, if you suffer from complications, I guess it can be. But I had a wonderful pregnancy. Having a child grow inside of you is a life-changing experience for a woman. Your belly grows, and at a certain point you feel your baby moving inside. It brings you closer to your husband."

"But you have to go through a lot of pain delivering a baby."

"That's true, but lots of women go through this every day. It's an existential experience, and the moment you're holding your baby in your arms for the first time is simply overwhelming. You forget all the pain, there's only awe, and love, and happiness."

Lynnie stared at Angela. The way she was raving about motherhood sounded so very different from what her Mom had told her about it. She had only complained about morning sickness, back aches, labor and a persisting baby bump. It strengthened the impression that she had indeed been part of a plan, and that plan had been winning her father over.

"Sounds as if you enjoy being a Mom," Lynnie concluded.

"Yes, I do. Jonathan is the most important person in my life. I'd do everything for him."

"That's wonderful. I wished it would've been like this when I was born."

"Lynnie, it _was_ like this when you were born," Tony took over from Angela. "I was thrilled when I first saw you. You were so beautiful. I knew that we would be getting along perfectly, and I was committed to make us become a family. It was just that things didn't go the way they were planned."

"In what way did they go?"

Tony wasn't sure whether he should tell Lynnie that Kathleen had made him abandon his friendship to Angela, because he was still embarrassed that his wife had worn the pants in their marriage.

"Your mother and I never really grew together as a couple. She pursued her career and I somehow found my task in raising you. She was away a lot and I had experience in being a single parent, I knew I could be both mother and father. We might have made it though, if ..." He stopped in the middle of the sentence, but it was too late, Lynnie's interest had already been aroused.

"If what?"

"If your mother had trusted me more." He tried to make eye contact with Angela but she avoided his look.

"Had she reason to be distrustful?"

"No. Never. All I wanted was to stay friends with Angela. I hadn't allowed myself to openly love her for so many years, I could've kept my feeling under control furthermore. But your mother ... well, ... she was very jealous and ... she demanded to break off our friendship."

"And you followed her demand without dissent?" Lynnie was stunned; her father - strong, macho Tony Micelli - being henpecked by her mother!

"Sort of," Tony admitted feebly.

"Why didn't you stand up for the woman you loved? Weren't you aware what this meant for Angela? She had nobody! You had me at least, and Mom in a way. You behaved like a wimp!"

Tony swallowed hard. If she hadn't been right, he would've refused to tolerate being called a wimp by his own daughter. But he had been a wimp! Putting their friendship on ice had been a mistake, but then again, he had made so many mistakes at that time, that he had stopped racking his brain about particular things he had done wrong. This whole phase of his life was one he'd rather shoved in the rearmost corner of his memory.

It was again Angela who helped him out here, just like on the decisive day, when he had come to her to make that difficult and painful cut. She tried to explain Lynnie what she had realized then, and that was that Tony had accepted the turn his life had taken and had only tried to make it work.

"Lynnie, don't be so hard on your father. He only tried to do the right thing. You have to see it this way, he really wanted to give his marriage a chance, and having a female best friend other than his wife might not have been helpful. I understood. He had done the same for me once, getting out of the way I mean. When Michael and I gave our marriage a second try, Tony and Samantha moved out of the house, although we had become friends already. Actually he moved out _because_ he was my friend. And I let him put our friendship on hold because I was _his_ friend."

Tony stared at Angela. What she had said about stepping into the background for a friend even if it broke one's own heart, had touched him to the core. A wave of gratefulness and love washed over him. Still in awe, he went over to her, cupped her face, and pressed a forceful kiss on her mouth. Not just a short, hasty touch, but a real kiss. He didn't care that his daughter was watching, all he wanted was to connect to this woman and show her how much he loved her for what she had done. It seemed as if getting through all these painful experiences hadn't pulled them apart but had bound them together even closer.

Angela was completely taken off guard. "What was that for?" she asked in a voice which revealed her surprise.

"For the wonderful person you are," Tony explained and gently stroked her cheek. Their eyes connected, and Angela could read all of Tony's emotions in there. She blushed a little because he had kissed her in front of his daughter.

Lynnie watched the two adults. They had kissed before when she had been around, but it had only been goodbye kisses on the cheek or quick pecks on the mouth. Never had they shared a meaningful kiss such as this in front of her eyes, with their tongues involved, ... at least not that they had been aware of. She had run into them a few times in a tight embrace, talking lovingly or even kissing, but had either made herself heard or had beaten a hasty retreat. She knew what it meant that her father kissed Angela now with her standing right beside them, for he usually was rather shy when it came to exchanging caresses in public - he was overwhelmed by his emotions, and he was very much in love with Angela.

"You're so cute," the girl remarked.

"Your daughter thinks you're cute, Tony!" Angela said with a smile.

"No," Lynnie clarified, "the two of you are so cute _together_. One can see that you love each other dearly. I was still very little when we lived together with Mom, but I've never seen you like this with her, Dad. And I've never seen Mom and one of her boyfriends looking into each others eyes like you do all the time."

As if to prove what Lynnie had just said Angela and Tony locked eyes.

"Yep, there it is!" Lynnie smiled. "I hope that I will ever be in love like this."

"Oh Lynnie," Angela went over to her and pulled her in a motherly embrace, "you have such a big heart. I'm sure that one day you'll find the right person to give it to, and you will be rewarded with being loved back the way you deserve," she told her. "You just have to be patient. True love is not easy to find."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's note: **Thanks, stayathomemum, for your constant support ..._

* * *

><p><strong>6<strong>

After her long and open talk with Tony and Angela, Lynnie had the feeling that she was finally able to unravel the knot in her stomach, which had been sitting there ever since she had overheard her father's proposal. She felt lighter and her carefree teenage spirit returned. Her 16th birthday was coming up, and she finally had the nerve to think about her birthday party. Before all this had happened, she had planned a party with all her friends - girls and boys - food, drinks, music and dancing, with some making out later on during a slow dance maybe. Brian would stand in line for the kissing part, or Adrian, both really cute, good-looking and popular guys. Sex was still out of the question for her. She knew all the facts of life, even though her father had hardly gotten a single helpful word out of his mouth when he had once tried to talk to her about it. Her mother had always put her off until some other time when she was old enough to have it, so it had been Angela who had told her everything about protection as well as waiting for the right person and the right moment.

Lynnie was a normal 15-year-old girl, adoring the so-called 'cool' boys and fantasizing about her dream prince, but the story of her parents and Angela had given her food for a lot of thought. She had learned that love could also be very painful and that somebody else's feelings were by no means something to easily fool around with. So making out with some dude just because all the other girls wanted to make out with him seemed inappropriate to her at the moment. Maybe if Tony had told her that his first adult kiss had been born out of a bet, she might've changed her mind, but he hadn't. So she had altered her plans for her birthday party and had decided to ask her father about it.

"Dad, I have made up my mind about my birthday party."

"How many friends are you going to invite?" Tony asked, already trying to calculate the amount of food he had to prepare.

"I want to do something different this year."

"Oh, ..."

Lynnie hesitated. He might not like what she had already set her mind on.

"Come on, spit it out! Unless you want me to send you on a luxury cruise to the Bahamas with your friends," he tried to tease her.

"I'd prefer just a family celebration."

"But we always have a family celebration plus a party with your friends," he asked surprised, not getting what Lynnie was trying to say.

"I'd like to have a celebration with my entire family, not only the traditional birthday dinner here at home with Sammy, Angela and you. I'd like to go to a nice restaurant, and I want to have everybody there - Sam, Angela, Mona, Jonathan, you, and ..."

"Aaaand?" Tony probed, silently hoping she wouldn't be saying what he was afraid she would be saying.

"Mom."

Tony sucked in his breath. "I don't know whether this is such a good idea, Sweetheart."

"I know that it won't be easy, but this is my only birthday wish, ... for all of you! You don't have to get me anything else, not even the car I asked you for! I just want to have all the people around me who are important in my life. You are all adults, you should be able to make it through one single evening without being at each other's throat," she stated, one eyebrow raised.

'Smart remark,' Tony thought, but wasn't convinced that it would really work. "I don't know how Angela feels about it, and I'm pretty sure your mother won't like it at all!" he pointed out.

"Well, it's _my_ birthday, and_ I_ get to decide what my party will be like. And this is how it's gonna be! Basta!" Lynnie could be stubborn like donkey if she had set her mind on something.

"Alright, birthday girl. At your own risk! Invite everybody you want to have at your party, see who shows up, and wait what's gonna happen. I'm sure it will be an evening to remember!" He wanted to add 'one way or another' but bit his tongue. He hoped that Kathleen would simply refuse to come if Angela with her mother and son would be there too. But he wasn't too sure about it, thinking back to the silly pass she had made at him the other day. Quite the contrary, he was afraid that Kathleen might seize the chance for a big scene, but he also knew that it would be hopeless trying to talk his daughter out of her plan.

* * *

><p>The day had finally arrived; Lynnie's 16th birthday.<p>

None of the adults had dared to deny the girl's one and only birthday wish, not even Kathleen. Everybody felt responsible to have caused her emotional distress, albeit to a very different extent. Kathleen had first thought of telling her daughter that she didn't number the Bowers among her family. But then she had changed her mind, willing to wait for a better moment to tell her.

Tony had mixed feelings about the event. He had never been comfortable with Angela and Kathleen meeting each other, beginning with the day Angela had secretly invited his study group over to their house after his first night with his now ex-wife. He knew that Angela was a strong woman, able to keep her emotions under control, and bent on not spoiling Lynnie's party. But he wasn't sure about Kathleen. He knew that she was capable of doing anything to dare both of them, disregarding that it was supposed to be her daughter's big day.

Angela was simply dreading the day. Sitting at the same table with Kathleen for an entire evening, bearing her barbed remarks, and to top it all, having her mother watching the show seemed to be a nightmare come true. But it was Lynnie's wish, so she complied. She planned to sit right between Jonathan and Tony and spend the evening talking mainly to them. The week before, Lynnie and she had looked for a nice place and had finally made a reservation at a new, stylish restaurant in New York City. Not too expensive, but still a bit fancy. Anyhow, it was her 16th birthday, and Angela wanted it to be special.

The day of Lynnie's birthday was a tough working day for Angela. She had an exhausting meeting with a difficult client in the morning, a business lunch with a fellow ad exec, a conference call with her banker and her tax accountant late afternoon, and last but not least, a job interview with a promising art director right before she had to leave for the celebration. So Angela arrived at the restaurant later than the other guests, with everybody being seated already at the table Lynnie and she had picked out the other day. Jonathan was sitting between her mother and Sam, so there was no way Angela could sit where she had planned to. Lynnie was framed by her two parents, and neither Sam nor Mona had been too eager to sit next to Kathleen, but Tony had been so thoughtful as to save the place on his right for Angela, so that Sam had finally pulled out the chair next to her ex-stepmother.

"Hello everybody, sorry for being late. My last appointment took a little longer than expected."

"Hi, Honey," Tony welcomed her and placed a quick peck on her cheek, "have a seat. We've just ordered the champagne to toast Lynnie."

"Couldn't you make in time just once, Angela? Does your business always have to be more important than private matters?" Kathleen threw in the ring, rolling her eyes. She didn't like the appearance Angela was making with being the last guest to show up, plus nobody seemed to mind her delay.

"Mom!" Lynnie defended Angela, "it's okay. Angela asked me whether she should reschedule the last job interview and I said no." She raised her glass, threw everybody a joyful smile and continued, "I'm really glad that you're all here for my 16th birthday. Now let's eat, drink, and talk, and just have a good time."

"To you, Lynnie," Tony said, almost overflowing with pride. "To Lynnie," the others joined in in unison.

"Angela, would you please be so kind and take a picture of my daughter, my husband and me to commemorate our little family's celebration."

Everybody noticed that she had said 'husband' instead of 'ex-husband', and everybody knew that it had not been a Freudian slip, especially Angela. But she swallowed down her anger and resisted the temptation to correct Kathleen. She didn't want to add fuel to the flames. "Sure," she said instead, took the camera from Kathleen's hand and waited for them to pose for the picture. Holding the camera up to find the best angle for the shot, she could see how Kathleen made Lynnie stand in the middle between Tony and her, then she laid her hand around her ex-husband's shoulder and pulled him so close that their cheeks almost touched.

"Okay, cheese everybody," Angela said, then released the shutter. "One more?"

"Yes, please. Now I'd like to have one with Lynnie on my right and you, Tony, on my left." They readjusted their positions, and this time Kathleen laid her arms around their waists, Lynnie's as well as Tony's. He wasn't comfortable with it at all but didn't want to make a fuss about it either. So he smiled weakly into the camera, hoping that the shooting would be over quickly.

"Smile!" Angela told them and took another few photos.

"Thanks so much, Angela," Kathleen said sugar-sweetly, taking the camera from her. "These belong in our family album. It's a birthday tradition from early on."

Another pill for Angela to swallow. She asked herself how much more often Kathleen would use the words 'family' and 'husband'. She was well aware they were only meant for her. They were the knife Kathleen kept twisting in her wound. But Angela was strong, and she was determined to make it through that evening putting a good face to the matter - for Lynnie's sake.

After the starter had been served, Kathleen played her next card. "Remember when we brought Lynnie home from the hospital, Tony? I can't believe that that was 16 years ago! She was so cute, wasn't she?"

"She was," Tony picked up Kathleen's cue, smiling at his daughter.

"Only that your bliss wasn't meant to be perpetual, Kathleen!" Mona couldn't bite back that snide remark. She had come with the expectation to have been offered a good show between Kathleen and Angela; and they didn't disappoint her. Not at all. Only that Angela took in too much. Why didn't she retaliate at all?

"Sometimes you try hard but fail anyway," Kathleen said.

"Uh huh," was Mona's only comment. She received a warning look from Angela who wanted her mother to keep her tongue in check.

They were interrupted once again by the waiters who served the main course, a marinated tuna steak with artichokes, Lynnie's favorite. Sam tried to lead the conversation to a less sensitive topic. She felt the tension at the table like everyone else. "Lynnie, did I ever tell you about the first car Dad got me when I was 16?"

"That was a very reliable and secure car, Samantha!" Tony replied earnestly and exhaled imperceptibly. He glimpsed at Sam, thankful for her try to lighten up the atmosphere. Jonathan also had to contribute something to the matter, comparing Sam's car to a school bus, so a more joyful talk adjoined; at least for some time.

Angela didn't realize so much of it though. She concentrated on herself, poking at her food without really having an appetite, repeating silently a mantra to herself, 'You can do this, Angela, don't let her provoke you!' She only did this for Lynnie. If someone had asked her what she wanted, she would've preferred a nice cozy evening on the couch with Tony giving her a relaxing foot massage. Her feet were killing her, she had a terrible headache and was exhausted after this long, tiring day at the agency, and this woman didn't have anything else to do but to constantly torment her.

Mona, who realized how tense Angela was, tried to run rings around Kathleen again. If Angela had decided to surrender to her, so be it, but she wasn't willing to let her daughter made look like a fool.

"Kathleen, why isn't your boyfriend here? What was his name again, ...?"

Kathleen cleared her throat, "Leif. His name was Leif Penderton."

"Oh, right. That gallery owner. What happened? Did he return to his wife and kids?" Aaaawww, that felt so good! Mona enjoyed the annoyed expression showing up on Kathleen's face.

"No, we've just grown apart. And I was the one who dumped him!"

"Of course you were," Mona murmured.

"Mother!" Angela would've kicked her in the shin if she hadn't been seated too far away from her at the opposite side of the table.

It was again the waiters who made the squabblers return to their respective corners. They cleared the table to bring the dessert. It would be a crêpe Suzette flambéed right at the table by the chief pastry cook. Something Angela had been looking forward to, having a sweet tooth, but now she was afraid she might vomit.

"This dessert reminds me of the time we were in Paris," Kathleen hijacked the conversation again, "I had to go on a business trip there and was allowed to take my husband and daughter with me. That was a wonderful vacation, wasn't it, Tony? Lynnie was only three years old. We had this cute tiny apartment close to the Eiffel Tower with no place to put Lynnie's cot, so we took her into our narrow bed and she slept in the middle between us. France is so romantic!"

"Mom, I haven't planned to walk down memory lane for the entire evening. I'm not getting married or something, we're celebrating my 16th birthday, nothing else."

"Aaaww Lynnie, let your mother delight in the good old times. These memories are so precious!"

"Kathleen," Tony whispered to her through gritted teeth.

"What? Are you repressing your memories? Are you afraid that allowing them back into your conscience would make you wish back to what we had? A family life?"

Angela jumped off her chair, almost tipping it over, and hissed, "I won't listen to this anymore," and left the table. She was afraid she might scream at Kathleen or burst out into tears, which would've been even worse. So she excused herself, and hurried on to the patio as fast as her high heels and aching feet would let her. "Enough!" Tony shouted simultaneously, "Would you stop it now, Kathleen! We've heard enough of your little storiettes. We're here to celebrate Lynnie's birthday and not to listen to your tawdry tales of the past. Is the only reason you came here tonight to tease Angela?"

"Oh, how gallant of you to defend your little girlfriend, Tony," Kathleen mocked him.

"Angela's not 'my little girlfriend', Kathleen!" Tony spat out, working hard to keep his anger under control so that he didn't strangle her. He felt sorry for Lynnie, for he was sure that she had somehow pictured this evening to be a fresh start for her family, but it had turned out exactly the way he had feared it would. And he knew that he had to back up Angela, that if he didn't put his ex-wife in her place now and here, she would never stop. "We've had our time, Kathleen, but it's over. Do you hear what I say? O-V-E-R ... over! I'm with Angela now, after ten years you should've noticed. The sooner you accept that you are Lynnie's mother to me and nothing else, the better. For all of us!" Turning to Lynnie he added, "Sorry, Sweetheart," then left the table to follow Angela on the patio.

"Huh? What's his problem? If she can't stand that the three of us have a history together, then she has to stay away from events like this." Kathleen shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"No, Mom!"

"Excuse me?"

"I invited Angela, and I wanted her to be here because she's good to me and because I love her."

"Love her?" Kathleen gasped.

"Yes, I love her. I consider her part of my family, and she is my guest just as you are. But if you're not able to behave like an adult and decide to tease her like a toddler without manners, then I'm afraid _you're_ the one who has to leave."

Silence fell onto the table. Nobody dared to breathe. Everybody stared at Lynnie aghast, only Mona jubilated inwardly and couldn't keep the corners of her mouth from slowly transforming into a slight grin.

"I beg your pardon? Are you telling your mother to leave?"

"No, I'm asking my mother to respect my other guests. This is _my_ party. So if you want to stay until after the dessert, you better talk about something else but the time you were still married to Dad, because it's just rude to do that in front of Angela. Do you think you can do that, Mom?"

"Tee hee, I didn't know that she was so sensitive, ..." Kathleen dabbed her lips with the napkin and took a sip of wine. "But if you ask me this nicely, Lynnie," she glared at her daughter, "I'll keep my mouth shut from now on."

"Good!" Lynnie nodded, than waved the waiter over. "Excuse me, one more bottle of red wine please, and you may bring the dessert now."

"I'd be glad to, Miss," the waiter replied with an appreciative nod. Seldom had he seen a teenager this mature.

While the rest of the party was still trying to gather their thoughts, Tony joined Angela on the patio. She was leaning against a pillar, her arms folded in front of her, staring into the darkness.

"Here you are, Angela," Tony said in his soothing voice, "I brought your coat. It's cold outside, Honey." He put the coat around her shoulders, stroked her upper arms gently a few times, then whispered into her ear, "I'm sorry."

Angela turned around, her facial expression earnest. "Why is she doing this all the time, Tony? What is she trying to achieve? Does she really want you back? Is she still in love with you? Or does she simply want to make me feel bad? I don't get it!"

"I don't know, Angela. I've never really understood this woman." Tony took a few steps away from Angela, putting his hands in his pockets. "Maybe she thinks that as long as we're not married, there's still a chance that we might get back together, I don't know. But I don't care, because all I have to say to this is that I don't want her back. I'm in love with you!" He turned around to meet Angela's eyes. "Why don't you marry me, then she'd know that we belong together for good!"

"Tony, I don't want to marry you just to wave away Kathleen. If I marry you, it's because I love you and because I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"But I thought you'd do that already!"

"I do, Tony, you know I do. Let's just not talk about it tonight, okay!?"

"Okay." Tony pulled her close and leaned in for a kiss. As soon as his lips touched hers, Angela surrendered and their kiss became fervent and passionate, then gentle and loving again at the end.

"Mmmm," Angela moaned, "your kisses are like a sweet remedy."

"I'm a good kisser, aren't I?" Tony grinned.

"The best!"

They fell into each other's arms and laughed. Maybe they wouldn't have, if they had seen Kathleen hiding behind a thick bush. She had come outside to have a cigarette to calm down her nerves after being berated by her own daughter. Then she had heard the familiar voices and hadn't been able to withstand the temptation to eavesdrop.

'Don't count me out of the game just yet, you two!' she thought to herself, 'You might've won this round, but the condemned live longer!' A plan was already forming in her head, which gave her a great deal of self-satisfaction. She left the scene with a devilish grin on her face, safe in the knowledge that she wasn't done yet.

* * *

><p>Angela was sitting at her desk at The Bower Agency. Thinking about how yesterday's birthday party had turned out gave a goosebumps. If Lynnie had asked her yesterday whether she despised her mother, she would've said yes. Why couldn't she just vanish out of their lives like Michael had vanished out of hers after their divorce? Would it really change if she married Tony? She doubted it. Poor Lynnie! She had wanted to bring everybody closer together, but the exact opposite had happened.<p>

Angela was still lost in thoughts when she heard someone yelling, "Hello?" in the entrance hall. "Hello! Anybody here?" Angela peeked at her watch. It was past 6pm already, all of her staff had left the agency. She remembered that her mother had excused herself to make a lengthy phone call to fix a date with her latest squeeze, a grey-haired but still good-looking journalist in his late-sixties. So she got up to see who was there and almost dropped dead when she recognized the caller.

"If you think that now that you stole my husband from me you can have my daughter too, you're mistaken, Angela! When the two of you get married, I will take Gwendolyn to live with me!" Kathleen came right to the point, without any prefaces or courtesies.

"Kathleen? What are you doing here? Can't you just leave me alone?"

"No! I won't let you steal all the people who are dear to me!" Kathleen explained her being there. "One after the other. First Tony, and now my daughter."

"I stole Tony from you?" Angela asked, raising her eyebrows. "It amazes me how you're twisting the facts, Kathleen!" She shook her head. Lifting her chin she continued, "I didn't have to _steal_ Tony from you, he came to me on his own free will. You're mixing things up here I'm afraid. _You_ were the one who tricked him into marriage and blackmailed to take Lynnie away from him if he didn't break off his friendship to me."

"Be that as it may, but Gwen is mine! She's _my_ daughter. No matter how many years she lives in your house, she's my flesh and blood!"

"I've never interfered with Lynnie and you. I know that a child of divorce needs both parents."

"Oh, how overly generous of you! Always so noble and perfect, Angela, hovering above the rest of us!"

"What are you talking about?" Angela furrowed her eyebrows.

"People like you think the world belongs to them."

"People like me?"

"Yes, people like you! The so-called 'upper class'! Just because you live in big houses, go to private schools, join country clubs, and run businesses, you think you can have everything anytime and anywhere. Come on, Angela, admit it! It bugs you to this very day that I had the edge over you with Tony, that you were outwitted by someone of my social class."

Angela stared at her in complete bewilderment. Was she really serious with what she was saying?

"You know what, Kathleen? I wonder whether you've ever truly loved Tony, or whether this has been nothing but a challenge for you."

"A challenge I won!" She grinned self-satisfied. "And will continue to do so!" Kathleen stared at Angela with burning eyes. "And I'm warning you! Don't you dare drive a wedge between my daughter and me by telling her about today's little chat."

Angela's knees started to turn to jelly upon hearing the hostility in Kathleen's voice. What had she done to arouse so much hatred within this woman?

"You used an unborn child to carry out your goals and now you're willing to use your daughter once again as leverage. You don't care about anybody's needs but your own, Kathleen. But this time it's not going to work, I'm afraid. Lynnie is not a baby anymore. She's a smart and strong young woman who is able to decide where she wants to live. You might've been able to manipulate Tony and me, but with Lynnie you'll be left standing, I'm sure. But don't you worry, I won't tell her anything about this unpleasant conversation. Not because you told me so, but rather to protect Lynnie. I don't want her to find out what a calculating and manipulative person her mother is."

"Too late, Angela! I've just found out!"

The voice they heard made both women's blood run cold immediately. Angela and Kathleen had been so caught up in their argument that none of them had noticed the two teenagers standing in the entrance hall of the agency, staring at them with wide eyes and open mouths.

Lynnie and her friend Emma had been on a shopping trip after school through some of New York's most trendy boutiques and had ended up in Angela's office because Lynnie had wanted to ask her for a ride home. She hadn't expected to find her mother there of course, bickering in the reception area. The girl had dropped her shopping bags, which were now scattered right and left beside her feet uncared for, and wasn't able to believe what her mother had said.

Until now, Lynnie had tried to remain impartial. She had listened to what her mother had told her, and to what Angela and her father had told her, trying to make up her very own interpretation of the past. She had simply refused to believe that her Mom had used her as a means to bind her father. But now she wasn't able to keep up the illusion any longer; she had heard it coming from her mother's mouth herself. She had never loved her just on her behalf! She had been conceived, born and raised only to manipulate her Dad.

Lynnie's world started to tumble and she felt a large black deep gap opening up under her feet threatening to devour her. She used to have a quick tongue, but at this moment she lacked both the words and the energy to confront her mother. She turned on the spot and ran from the premises, leaving her shopping bags behind right where she had dropped them. Emma gave Angela, whom she also knew well, a quick glance, then darted after her friend without saying a word.

"Great! That's what comes of it! Now you _did_ manage to make me fall out with my daughter! I hope you're happy now!" Kathleen glared hostilely at Angela once more, then flipped her hair and left the agency with bounding strides, her nose held up high. In an attempt to regain the equilibrium the unjustified accuse threatened to take away from her, Angela took two quick steps up to her mother's desk and collapsed into her chair. Her face was all pale and her breath shallow.

"Inhale deeply, Dear!" Mona told her. "Inhale, exhale! Inhale, exhale!" She underlined her words with inhaling and exhaling deeply herself.

"Did you hear what she said, Mother?"

"It was impossible _not_ to hear it, Angela! I bet the pharmacist at the corner knows now that Tony proposed. I'm just a bit disappointed that he found out the same moment I did. Why didn't you tell me?"

"That's the least of my problems now, Mother! I have to find Lynnie, the poor girl must be devastated."

"Emma is with her, let her be. I can imagine she prefers to not have any adult around at the moment anyway."

Mona sat on her desk right in front of Angela who was still sitting in her mother's chair. She scrutinized her, staring at her until Angela's eyes finally met hers.

"Why haven't you told me that Tony proposed, Angela? I'm your mother. I deserve to know."

"There's nothing to tell. We won't get married."

"You didn't accept?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Angela sighed.

"Not because Kathleen doesn't want you to, I hope!"

"No, of course not!" Angela replied indignantly.

"So? Why then?"

After a short moment of contemplating whether or not it was wise to tell her mother about her misgivings and why the thought of getting married to Tony made her sad and not happy, Angela poured her heart out to her. She told her everything, from her feeling of inadequacy because she hadn't been able to give Tony a child, to the burning ache she couldn't get rid of that Tony, Lynnie and Kathleen were connected through the bond she so badly missed. From the pain of having lost so many years with Tony she still felt sometimes, to the regret which tormented her soul once in a while that she had been too proud of fight harder against Kathleen all those years ago.

"My poor baby!" Mona said full of compassion, "Why don't you seize this chance then, Angela? Tony has more than made up for his indiscretion, don't you think? He has thrown roses at your feet whenever and wherever possible. You share your life with him - and to my greatest joy your bed as well! - for so many years now, what's so weird with marrying him eventually? I don't understand!"

"I don't understand it either, Mother. Maybe I don't want to take Kathleen's place as his wife."

"Oh, you wouldn't be doing that. The imprint she's left on Tony's life it too insignificant for you to worry about."

"And here you are mistaken. The imprint she's left is so big that I will never be able to fill it." Angela sounded disillusioned.

"You mean Lynnie?"

"Of course I mean Lynnie!"

"What's so special about her, Angela? I don't get it! Marie has left him Samantha, and Michael has left you Jonathan. People your age bring assets from previous partners into their relationships."

"Well, you can't really compare Lynnie's situation to Sam's and Jonathan's."

"Why not? If you hadn't escaped from Kathleen yesterday but socked her right on the jaw, you would've heard what Lynnie said."

"What did she say?"

"That she loved you!"

Angela stared at her mother, and Mona gave her a moment to let that sink in before she topped it with telling her how the girl had asked her mother to leave if she wouldn't be willing and able to stop being so rude.

"Tony and you can call yourself lucky that you get along so well with all three kids. You are a picture-perfect patchwork family! New age sociologists would take great delight in presenting you as a role model for modern cohabitation. Now gulp down your hard feelings about Tony's odyssey with _whatsherface_ and allow yourself your own share of happiness. You deserve it, Angela!"

"I don't know, Mother."

"Why on earth are you so self-conscious about Tony and you getting married? You fit perfectly with each other. Tony's been in love with you for almost 25 years, and you with him!"

Angela had literally hung at her mother's words during her deliberations. And she couldn't deny that she had a point. If she was honest with herself, she had to admit that it was easier to blame Kathleen for having interfered with her life planning than facing the circumstances as they were and making the best of it. And the best was Tony! There was no doubt about it. And Lynnie belonged to him just like Sam belonged to him, and Jonathan did to her. Her mother was right. Why had she never seen it this way? They were good together, all five of them, better than many 'normal' families in which all members were blood-related. And they had a life-experienced, red-haired and quick-witted grandmother to top it all!

Maybe that was their secret? That they chose to share their lives, free and unbound, that they were committed through love and devotion, and not through biology? As a matter of fact, the logical continuation of this line of thought would be that Tony and she also didn't need a wedding certificate to prove their commitment to one another. But if Angela looked deeply into her heart and soul she knew that she had dreamed of becoming Mrs. Anthony Micelli for the longest time.

"Angela, I can see that you're contemplating. Good! But remember not to think too much, Dear! It's a mistake you've made too often in your life."

"Thanks for reminding me, Mother, but you can relax. I believe I'm on course just fine," Angela said with a smile on her face and a warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach.


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

Tony paced through the kitchen.

"I can't believe she showed up in your agency. Unbelievable! And she told you not to marry me, otherwise she would take Lynnie away from us? Who does she think she is?"

Angela was sitting at the kitchen table, her hair, which had been pinned up in a nice do this morning, loose and a little rumpled. She had taken off her jacket, had hung it over one of the chairbacks and had undone the upper buttons of her blouse. After Kathleen had left the office yelling bloody murder and the emotional talk to her mother, Angela had taken the train home and Tony had picked her up at the train station. He had noticed instantly that something had happened, but Angela hadn't said a word until they had reached their house on Oak Hills Drive. She had been afraid Tony might drive them both into the ditch if she told him about Kathleen's threat to take Lynnie away from them while he had his hands on the steering wheel.

"I was completely flabbergasted, Tony! And the worst thing was that Lynnie's heard it all! You should've seen her face! She was shocked. She ran away so fast, there was no way of holding her back. I wanted to go after her but Mother said she probably wouldn't want anyone of us around, and since Emma was with her I assumed she would be okay. But where is she now? It's almost 9 and she isn't home yet. I'm worried, Tony!"

Tony looked at his watch. 8:48 pm. Normally his daughter called when she stayed away longer. It was far past dinner time, and dinner was when they usually gathered around the dinner table - all three of them; plus Mona once in a while.

"She's not a baby anymore, Angela, and she knows the City well," Tony tried to calm himself. "Maybe she went with Emma to her place, or they are sitting in a café somewhere downtown, or-"

Tony was interrupted by the ringing phone. He jumped up and pulled the receiver off the hook of the extension in the kitchen.

"Hello? Lynnie, is this you?" he shouted into the phone.

"No, Dad, it's me, Sam, but Lynnie's here with me."

"Thank God!" Tony collapsed into one of the wooden chairs and mouthed to Angela that Lynnie was with Sam. "Let me talk to her."

"Uh, Dad, listen ... I don't think she wants to talk to you right now. She's very confused."

"Okay, if you say so. I come and pick her up."

"Dad, I thought she could sleep over. There's no school tomorrow. We'll have dinner together, watch a movie, stay up until late, ... talk. And tomorrow we'll sleep in, go and have brunch somewhere in the City, and then I'll drop her off. What do you say?"

Tony thought for a moment, then said, "Alright. Fine with me. Thanks, Sam! Tell her goodnight from me, will ya?"

"Yes, sure. Say hello to Angela! See you tomorrow."

She hung up and Tony listened to the beep for a moment. Then he put the receiver back.

"What did Sam say? Is Lynnie alright?" Angela asked.

"Sam said that she's very confused."

"Nobody can blame her! Oh Tony, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let Kathleen pull me into a fight, I shouldn't have said the things I said, I should've noticed Lynnie standing in the hallway overhearing every word."

"Stop blaming yourself, Angela. None of this is your fault. It's Kathleen's and hers only! When will she stop this? I thought that I've made myself clear yesterday in telling her it's over, once and for all."

"Maybe that's why she's going after Lynnie now. Because she understands that she doesn't have a chance to pull us apart again, she's trying to put Lynnie at odds with us."

"Yeah, and she's already succeeded. Lynnie didn't want to talk to me. She's staying for the night at Sam's."

"Oh, but that's good! We know that she's safe and sound and she has someone to talk to. Someone other than us or Kathleen."

Tony sighed heavily. "I understand that she doesn't want to be around her mother at the moment, but that she doesn't want me around, ..." he pouted.

"Come on! She doesn't know what or whom to believe. I can understand that she turned to her big sister. Let her be. And you know Sam, she'll lend Lynnie her ear, and I bet that tomorrow we can have a talk with her, too."

"Maybe you're right." Tony looked at Angela. "So, what are we two up to tonight?"

"A movie?"

"How about 'Rambo'?" Tony grunted, "I'm in the mood for some fighting action, and I won't mind seeing blood either!"

Angela smiled. "I watch an action movie with you tonight, Honey, although I don't really like them. But only if you promise to make a huge bowl of buttered popcorn."

"May I have a beer?"

"You may have even two if you want." She gifted him a compassionate smile. "Deal?"

"Deal!" He held out his hand to shake on it, and when Angela had put hers in his, he pulled her close and leaned in for a kiss.

* * *

><p>"Dad agrees, you can stay here for the night, little sister!" Sam said while putting the receiver down.<p>

"Great! Thanks so much, Sam!"

After Lynnie had run from the Bower Agency she had strolled through the City for a while with Emma, but she hadn't been willing to talk to her long-term friend. How could she explain to someone wo had grown up in a picture-perfect family with a mother, a father and three siblings what her weird situation was all about? She hadn't had the energy to even try, and Emma had understood. So they had just walked side by side through the streets until it started getting dark and Emma had to go home. She had offered Lynnie to come with her and have dinner with her family, but Lynnie had refused. She hadn't been in the mood for a picture-perfect family. She had promised Emma she would take the next train to Fairfield, but the closer she had approached the train station, the less she had wanted to climb that train.

Because Lynnie hadn't known what else to do, she had taken the bus to visit the only person she could think of talking to - Samantha. Being so confused and also disappointed in the adults in her life, she had been the only person Lynnie could think of confiding in. She had often felt like they had a lot in common, and that was not only their father. There had always been so much she wanted to ask Samantha, and it had seemed to be the perfect time to get all these questions off her chest. The two half-sisters had been close from the start despite the great age difference between them. Samantha had babysat Lynnie on a regular basis when she had been little, and the two girls had spent a lot time together with their Dad. Lynnie had always looked up to her big sister, had adored and tried to emulate her.

Now, she was chopping some onions into little dices for the sauce carbonara Sam wanted to prepare; Tony had taught both daughters the basics of Italian cooking. The younger couldn't hold back the questions any longer.

"What was is like to grow up without a mother, Sammy?"

"Oh, it was very difficult in the beginning. I was only 8 years old when my Mom died. Seeing her suffer, getting weaker every day, saying goodbye to her eventually, ... that's tough for a little girl. And the way Dad was struggling also made me very sad. It was frightening to see him so lost."

"How did you cope with all this?"

"Time helped, and Dad did everything to replace my Mom. He tried to be mother and father. He only lived for the me at the time, I guess. We became very close after she had left us. And then, some day, Angela came into our lives, ..."

"She became your surrogate mother?"

"Well, not that we have ever called her that. And I guess we have also never really worked on it in particular. It just happened."

"Was she really like a mother for you?"

"Sure. If it hadn't been for her, Dad and I would've never come through my puberty. You know him," Sam chuckled, "imagine talking to him about your first menstrual period, your current boyfriend, or even only about your senior prom, ... I remember how exhausted he was when he came back from shopping my first bra. And he had come up with a sports bra on top, instead of the fancy pink one with a ribbon I liked so much. He was just unable to cope with these 'female matters'. Angela took me shopping from then on. And I could always talk to her about everything. She was the first person I told that I was going steady with my boyfriend Jesse, and she cautiously broke the news to Dad afterwards. She was my confidante in so many things."

"Did you ever call her Mother?"

"Only once," Sam thought for a moment, then corrected herself, "no, wait, twice!" She smiled. "The first time was very shortly after we had moved in. I had made new friends, and because we lived in their neighborhood they assumed we would be as loaded as they were. They thought Dad and Angela were married because they lived in the same house, and I let them believe it. I was embarrassed that Dad was only keeping the house and not owning it, so I lied to them."

"Oh my, I bet Dad didn't like it."

"Not at all! He lectured me about honesty and self-respect, and that I could be proud of my decent. I had my friends over for a slumber party and he wanted me to tell them everything right away."

"Oh boy!"

"Yeah, I was afraid it might ruin not only my party but also the relationship to my new friends."

"What did you do?" Lynnie was curious.

"I begged Dad to pretend, just for one single evening, and believe it or not, finally he agreed. But what was even more important, he convinced Angela to play along."

"They told your friends that they were married?" Lynnie was bewildered.

"It was my 13th birthday, the first in Fairfield, and they wanted to make it special and not ruin it with alienating my new friends. So they let them believe they were husband and wife. Angela even let Dad tell them that he was president of the company she was president of, and she called me Daughter in front of them. But then I told them. And my friends forgave me, and with some I'm still friends today. Bonnie for example, you know her."

"So that was the first time you called Angela Mother, when was the second?"

"That was years later, and that time I wasn't playing a charade, I really meant it." Sam told Lynnie everything about the school program and how Bonnie and she had switched back and forth to work with Angela one day and with Tony the other. "I behaved like an idiot, because I was so jealous. I thought that Angela liked Bonnie better than me, and when I told Angela, she said something beautiful."

"What?"

"She said that she _liked_ Bonnie, but that she _loved_ me!" It still gave Sam goosebumps thinking about that moment. She had felt very close to Angela and had realized how much she had relied on her as a mother figure all along. "Then she admitted that she felt insecure about my feelings for her, and so I explained that I just had the same feelings like every teenage girl has for her mother."

"What did she say to this?"

"She cried," Sam smiled. "and Dad cried too! We hugged and since then I knew that she had indeed become my surrogate mother. Although I don't like the word, because mothers can't be replaced. So I rather see her as my motherly friend. Someone I can always turn to if I need advice. Someone who will always be there for me and love me no matter what I do."

"Have you ever wished that she had really been your mother?"

"No, I had a mother, and I loved her very much. Even if she's not with me anymore, she's still my mother. But I often thought that if I still had her, I would've wanted to have a relationship to her just like the one I had to Angela, and still have today." She looked earnestly at her younger sister. "What is this all about, Lynnie? You _have_ a mother?"

"I hate my mother! ... Ouch!" Lynnie hadn't really paid attention to the sharp knife in her hand while listening to Sam's stories, so now she had cut herself deeply into her left index finger.

"Hold it over the sink and let cold water run over it. I get you a band-aid."

When Sam returned into the kitchen with a small box of various band-aids in different sizes, she found her sister sitting on one of the kitchen chairs with sagging shoulders and a very sad expression on her face, her finger wrapped in a paper towel. Her distress was almost palpable. Sam knelt in front of her, took the towel away, and as the wound had stopped bleeding she put one of the band-aids on and gently stroked the tape to make it stick. Then she squeezed Lynnie's hand.

"Has something happened today? Or are you still so upset about last night? Talk to me, Gwendolyn!"

Lynnie hated to be called by that name, Sam knew, but it was her way of telling her little sister that she was willing to talk to her on eye level, from one adult to another. Her father calling her Samantha instead of Sam always had the same effect. And Lynnie got the message, so she told her sister about what she had seen in Angela's office earlier that day, and even more important what she had heard. That she knew for sure now that she had always been nothing but a small wheel in her mother's perfidious plan to outdo Angela. She told Sam that Kathleen had literally prohibited Angela to marry Tony, if they wanted to keep her living in their house. That she felt she had never been more than a means of blackmail for her mother.

"She doesn't want me to live with her because she loves me, but only to hurt Dad and Angela. She never wanted me to live with her!"

"I must say that your mother's behavior yesterday at your birthday party had really been beneath contempt, but I just can't imagine that you're nothing but a leverage on Dad for her."

"How do you know?"

"I didn't say I knew, I said I could imagine. No mother is that numb and stony when it comes to her own daughter. Isn't it possible that she let you live with Dad and Angela all these years not because she didn't want you to live with her, but because she knew deep down that you would be better-off with them?"

Lynnie shrugged, "Maybe." It was a nice, soothing notion. It would mean that her mother had valued her daughter's needs higher than her very own at least once in her life. Lynnie sighed, and popped another question after a short moment of silence. "What was is like to live with Angela and Dad at the time?"

"Weird somehow, then again just usual. It wasn't anything like she was the boss and he her employee. She never bossed him around. Well, let's say she only very rarely bossed him around. And when she did, she always apologized for it later. We were like a family, ... Angela, Dad, Jonathan and I. We were the Bower-Micelli-family. Sometimes I even forgot that we were _not_ related. I ordered Jonathan around just as if we had really been siblings."

"You never ordered me around, and I _am_ your sibling." Lynnie was almost a bit disappointed. Did she have a closer relationship to Jonathan than to her? They had both grown up as only children due to the age difference. Sam had already been a young adult when Lynnie had been born.

"Yeah, but we never lived together in a house, Lynnie. That's a difference. But it doesn't mean that I don't love you, sis!"

"Did you know they were in love? Dad and Angela, I mean," Lynnie jumped to another topic which was floating in her mind.

"When I was little, I didn't really care. When I was older, it bothered me that the neighbors were gossiping. I once beat up a guy who said that Angela's and Dad's relationship was indecent." She chuckled again, "Hadn't completely gotten rid of my Brooklyn soul at the time yet!"

"When did you realize they were in love?"

"I don't know. Some day it was just obvious. The way they cared for each other. They way they looked into each other's eyes. When you saw them dancing you could almost see the sparks emerging above them. And I saw them kiss once! Well, _kiss_ isn't the right word, they were rather making out! Actually, that was only a few weeks before Dad started dating your Mom."

Sam was thinking about their family trip to Jamaica, when she had almost run into them kissing passionately on a bench close to the beach. First she had been shocked to see her father kissing another woman, until she had realized it had been Angela in his arms. She had been amazed by the lust in the way they had embraced and exchanged fervent French kisses. Like every child, she had difficulties picturing her father as a sensual person, but she had been old enough to understand that he was the one stepping on the brakes. Angela had touched her heart saying that she wouldn't mind if Tony mowed lawn in Central Park, for it had shown that she truly cherished him. The more Sam had been surprised when Tony had started getting involved with Kathleen shortly after their return.

"What I don't understand is why they chastised themselves so long. If they loved each other so much, why didn't they just become a couple? If the neighbors were gossiping anyway and everybody knew, there was no reason to stay apart."

"I guess they were afraid that it might not work and they would destroy our unique family construction in the end. Angela in particular. She was divorced and had already gone through one failed marriage. And Dad still thought of my Mom. The way he had lost her had been very painful, too."

"They lived bedroom door to bedroom door and never shared a bed?"

"Oh no! Our Dad is very conservative when it comes to sex before marriage. I'm sure you know! Plus he wanted to set a good example for Jonathan and me. If they ever had sex while we lived in that house, which I doubt, they would've gotten to a motel or some place else."

"Then how come he had sex with my Mom? They weren't married either."

Sam thought for a moment. She had contemplated about that a lot after Tony had told her that Kathleen was pregnant and that he would marry her. Tony had exercised restraint with her mother Marie and had waited with sex until their wedding night, she knew, and he had abstained from pre-marital sex with Angela, but he had been together with other women - the Bettys and Tanyas on this planet - and undeniably with Kathleen. Finally she had come up with an explanation, and she decided to share her thoughts with her sister.

"I think it shows that his relationship to your mother was different from the one to Angela. He wasn't as ... uhm, serious about her."

"You mean she never was meant to be more than an affair?"

"No, that's not exactly what I mean. Our Dad didn't live like a monk, but when it came to the holy state of matrimony he was very conservative and uptight. It was very important to him to honor the woman he led to the altar and to treat her according religious morality. With waiting for her until they were married he tried to pay her his respect and show her his complete devotion, I guess. I know it sounds a bit old-fashioned in our times, abstinence isn't really in-style right now. But hey, our Dad is an old-fashioned guy! I just believe that he never really thought he would marry your Mom, whereas marrying Angela one day had always been somewhere in the back of his mind," Sam concluded her explanation. Had Tony been able to hear what she had just said, he would've been aghast about the fact that his daughter had thought so much about his sex life, but also touched by the profound insight she got on his psyche.

"And then the exact opposite happened," Lynnie noted tonelessly.

"Well, life doesn't always run the way you've planned it."

"But they share a bedroom now, I mean Dad and Angela, without being married. How come they don't want to set an example for me?"

"I'm sure they want to set an example for you, Lynnie. I mean, they live together like a married couple, only that they aren't married. It's not so unusual nowadays for couples to live together without a wedding certificate as it had been two decades ago. And they are together longer than most couples are. And you mustn't forget that their history does not only consist of these last ten years after he got divorced from your Mom. They are friends for almost 25 years now! I think that's a pretty good example of human kindness and loyalty."

"That's true."

Sam's words were able to ease Lynnie's mind a bit. It had really been the right decision to come to her sister after the surprising incident in Angela's office. But there was another topic bothering her. One she didn't know whom to discuss it with. She had read a bit about it on the internet even before all of this had happened, because she had been tired for some time about being pushed back and forth between her parents.

"Now that I'm 16 I could file a Petition for Emancipation to become independent of my mother. I don't want her to make decisions for me, like that I have to live with her against my will."

"I don't think you'll need a Petition for Emancipation for it, Lynnie. You're old enough to decide where you want to live. No family court would take you away from your father if you'll tell them you want to live with him. Regardless of what your mother tells the court. A petition like this is a very serious thing, don't rush into something like this. You mustn't underestimate its effects on the entire family. Your mother will be very hurt and feel offended, and she might hold Dad and Angela responsible for it."

Sam knew that many teenagers in Lynnie's age toyed with the idea of filing a petition like this. The process of growing up and becoming independent was difficult for both parents and children. It evoked frictions between people who actually loved each other. Sometimes parents had problems with giving their teenage kids the free space they needed, her father had been no exception. She remembered that even she had once read a leaflet about it, but had thrown it into the garbage right away, because she had known deep down that her father had always only wanted to do it right, even if he had done it wrong. There had been this feeling of safety and unconditional love, and she had known that no matter what she did, her father would always back her up. It seemed to be that her younger sister was lacking exactly this kind of certainty with respect to her mother.

"Maybe, but I just don't want my mother to interfere with my life anymore."

"I understand you! Maybe I would've reacted the same way. What you found out about your mother is awful and you need some time to process it," Sam tried to calm the girl, "may I give you some advice though?"

"Sure."

"Let your mother know how disappointed you are. Tell her to keep her distance until _you_ decide to talk to her again. Yell at her, blame her, send her to hell, but don't cut her off completely, Lynnie! She's your mother after all. She might have had her reasons to act the way she did, reasons we do not have the slightest idea about." Sam grabbed Lynnie at her shoulders and looked at her earnestly. "You only have _one_ mother, and it's not easy to get along without one. Not even at the age of 16. I wished I still had a mother, ..." Eventually Sam's voice broke. Even in her mid-thirties she still needed her mother and badly missed having her near and being able to ask her for advice once in a while. She didn't want her sister to push her mother out of her life, because she was afraid she might regret it one day.

"But your mother never treated you the way mine treated me! Jonathan once told me that he has a closer relationship to Dad than to his real father. So why can't I have a closer relationship to Angela than to my mother?"

"You can! Motherhood is not only about carrying a child and giving birth, it's mostly about nurturing and caring, about protecting the child and raising it to an independent person. So of course you can have a motherly relationship to Angela, like Jonathan has this strong fatherly connection to Dad. But your biological parents are your roots. You carry their genes, so no matter how much you try to get rid off them, they will always be a part of you. Ask Jonathan about Michael, Lynnie! He'll tell you that although his relationship to his biological father isn't very close, it's still important to him to have him as a sounding board. Only when you know where you come from, you're able to decide where you want to go."

"How were you able to do that without your Mom?"

"I had a lot of people telling me about who she was - Dad, my grandfather Nick, Mrs. Rossini, the whole Brooklyn gang, ... I know her quite well. And sometimes, she gives me advice in my dreams."

Sam had never told anyone before that even today she still dreamed of her mother once in a while. Especially when she badly needed female advice. Dreaming of her had always eased her mind, for it had showed her that Marie hadn't fallen into oblivion. When Sam had first come to Fairfield and had realized that Angela had been becoming evermore dearer to her, it had been her mother who had told her in her dreams that it was okay, that she was glad for her daughter to have found another woman caring for her.

"What am I to do, Sam? I don't know what to do!" Lynnie buried her face in her hands. She sounded so desperate that it broke Sam's heart. She pulled the girl into an embrace and gently stroked her back.

"Why don't you talk to Dad? He loves you, and he will listen to you. He will help you to make a decision. I can imagine that he's brooding about what made you come to me and what we're talking about right now out there. I'm pretty sure he'll be there for you tomorrow. And talk to Angela about your feelings, she's a great listener."

Lynnie didn't reply anything, she just sighed and let Sam rock her as if she was a toddler who had to be comforted because of a broken toy. Growing up wasn't easy, she had learned that the hard way. During the last few weeks, the ground had fallen out from underneath her feet. She felt uprooted and didn't know where or to whom she belonged. Her interpersonal relations were all so complicated. There were her biological parents, who had never really been in love with each other. There was her father who had never wanted to have children with her mother, and her mother who had cheated to conceive her. There was Angela who seemed to love her, but then again couldn't possibly love her because she, Lynnie, had been the reason that Tony had broken off with her. There was Jonathan, her ... what was he anyway? Her father's girlfriend's son, nothing else. How did he think about another one of Tony's daughters claiming a part of his mother's heart? Sam was the only person she didn't have an ambivalent relationship to. She was her half-sister, that was something she could be sure about, and it gave her a great deal of reassurance.

"I love you, Sammy," Lynnie whispered between sobs, "thank you so much!"

"You're welcome, sis! And I love you, too!"


	8. Chapter 8

**8**

Tony knocked at the door. He had contemplated a lot about whether he should come here, whether to have this talk really would be such a good idea. But he felt that if he didn't, things would go on like this forever. And he needed to draw a line under this affair. For good. What his daughter had told him about her state of mind earlier that day had shown him unmistakenly that each and every one of them was on a downward spiral, and if he didn't do anything about it, they would all end up being miserable for the rest of their lives.

The door opened and he looked directly into the surprised eyes of his ex-wife. It wasn't only surprise he saw in there though, but also a sick sort of self-satisfaction. Well, he would put some more emotions there for sure.

"Oh, Tony, what a nice surprise! Is that what you mean by things being O-V-E-R between us?" Kathleen asked in a provocative tone.

"I'm here for an apology," Tony said instead of answering to her unfriendly welcome.

"I wouldn't know what to apologize for," she replied defiantly.

"I'm the one who wants to apologize," Tony clarified, and now she most certainly was surprised.

"You? To me?"

"Yes. Can I come in?"

"Sure."

Kathleen stepped aside at let Tony enter her apartment, then she closed the door behind him. She was badly trying to gather her thoughts. Tony stood still in the middle of the living room, turned around and looked at her. Before he could start, Kathleen began to speak, "If it's about our daughter's birthday, Tony, you're forgiven. I know that-"

"No, it's not about Lynnie's birthday. You're definitely have to apologize for that evening. But not to me. To your daughter, ... and to Angela. But that's not what I'm here for."

"Why _are_ you here then?" Kathleen had no idea where the conversation was leading to, and she didn't like it.

Tony took a deep inhale, then said calmly, "We need to stop this, Kathleen. We can't go on like this. It'll drive us all crazy, including you!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about!" He struggled to keep his temper under control. He still was very angry at her, but didn't want his mood to jeopardize his mission, so he continued as unagitatedly as possible, "How dare you walk into Angela's office and tell her that if she marries me you'll take Lynnie away from us?"

"Because that's exactly what I'm going to do, Tony! If she thinks she can have every person who's dear to me, she's mistaken!"

"Are you hearing yourself? That's nonsense! And by the way, Lynnie is old enough to make decisions like this on her own. You can't force her to move out of Oak Hills Drive."

"She's _my_ daughter, not hers! She belongs to _me_!"

"Kathleen, you've tried all your life to force people to be a part of your life, but it doesn't work this way, don't you see?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You forced me into marriage, and now you want to force Lynnie into a mother-daughter-relationship which never really existed. If you don't stop manipulating people, you'll end up alone and bitter."

"As if you care about whether or not I'm alone."

"As a matter of fact I do. You once meant a lot to me - our family meant a lot to me - but with playing your dirty tricks, you destroyed everything. And if you care about your daughter just a little bit, you have to stop simply claiming her affection but start working on deserving it."

"You said you came here for an apology. I haven't heard one yet! The only thing I hear are reproaches!" 'Offense was the best defense' had always been one of Kathleen's mottos.

"Alright. I'm telling you what I came for." Tony cleared his throat. In tense anticipation of how she would react he started with what he thought needed to be said, "I want to apologize that I wasn't able to give you the amount of love you wanted from me. I apologize that I stayed in our relationship although I noticed that you were much more serious about it than I was. I apologize that I was never willing to give you my entire heart, because I had given it to someone else already."

"To Angela," Kathleen spat out.

"Yes, to Angela." Tony looked into Kathleen's eyes. "I didn't do it purpose. I hadn't been aware of it at the time we first met, Kathleen. I never meant to hurt you, yet I did. And I'm sorry."

Kathleen stared at Tony. Of all possible scenarios which had come to mind, this had been the least likely. "Well, T-Tony, ..." she stammered.

"Let me finish, please. There's more I have to tell you." He cleared his throat again. It wasn't easy but he had the feeling he had to do this, that he had to be so downright honest to make Kathleen acknowledge the fact that she had to go on with her life without him. "I had quite a few women in my life. I liked most of them, some I even loved, but there were only two I gave my heart to - one was Marie, and the other one is Angela."

"I see. Not a very nice thing to say to the woman you were once married to. May I ask to which group I belonged? To the women you liked or to the ones you loved? Or have I been just a floozy you hopped into bed with because you didn't know how to meet your sick needs with respect to your beloved boss?"

"Please, Kathleen," Tony beseeched her, "this is not helpful!"

"Who says I'm trying to be helpful? If you're feeling the urge to straighten things out between us all of a sudden, fine, but don't expect me to sit here motionlessly and listen to how you betrayed your marriage vows!"

"I didn't betray my marriage vows. And this is not 'all of a sudden'. I've tried to straighten things out many times, but you simply wouldn't listen."

"You said you'd cherish and honor me!"

"I did cherish and honor you. But do you really think that cheating on me before our marriage was a very honorable thing to do? I know that your negligence in birth control was your way of fighting for me. And you're right, I could've taken care of it, too, so I don't blame you for pulling me into marriage with getting pregnant. Part of me will always be grateful to you for having given me Lynnie. She's the apple of my eye and has enriched my life since the day she was born. And I really tried to make our family work, I hope you know and acknowledge that. You will always be a part of my life as my daughter's mother, but that's all I can offer you Kathleen!"

"Is this why you came today?" Kathleen squirmed, "To tell me that you don't see anything in me but the woman who carried and gave birth to your child? I almost died!"

"Oh come on, that's not true! Don't be so melodramatic, Kathleen! I came here because I think we both need that cut, once and for all. We're divorced for almost twelve years, for heaven's sake. I need you to let go of me, because only if you do can I marry Angela, and I want to marry her for all in the world. Don't you think you owe me that much? And I'm sure that once you let go, you'll be able to open your heart to someone else again. This I truly wish for you."

Their eyes connected, and Kathleen could see nothing but honesty and sincerity in his. Still, it was not easy for her to accept what Tony's open words meant for her, "So she's finally won after all!"

"You're totally mistaken, Kathleen! Angela's not the one who wants to get married, I am!"

"I don't care who of you wants to get married! All that matters to me is that she gets my husband _and_ my daughter. Smart strategy to wait with scoring the final punch until you and I are alienated that much. I have to give her credit! My father taught me to never underestimate my enemies. I guess he's turning in his grave. Now she wins the big prize in both of you, whereas I once only got a fallacy of a husband."

"You're losing perspective here, Kathleen. I'm not your husband anymore, and this ain't a game! If this is how you see your life, I pity you. However, we'll all come out as losers, if you don't stop mixing up your life with ours. If you want to make up with your daughter - and I believe you do - you have to start concentrating on improving your own life instead of making Angela's and mine difficult. Lynnie won't be able to even listen to you if you don't stop interfering in the life of the three of us. Your relationship to her has to be independent from Angela and me."

"Do you really want me to make up with Gwen?" Kathleen asked incredulously, "Don't you want to have her just for yourself and this little patchwork family of yours?"

That had always been her blind spot. Kathleen knew that Tony was the better parent. He was more patient, more devoted, and more loving. She had envied his close connection to their daughter from the very first day. He hadn't minded to get up at night when she had been crying, he had never lost the patience to rock her when she had been windy, and he had been willing to give up college to take care of her. After her accident, when her tiny, fragile body had been lying in a hospital bed, all bruised and injured, he had managed to raise the money to cure her, whereas she had only been sitting at her bed, unable to do anything. He had been away overnight, but the next day he had presented her a blank cheque signed by Angela. Kathleen hadn't been able to tell what had amazed her more - the fact that he had brought up the guts to ask Angela, or that Angela had given them the money. She had been grateful, and she knew deep down that it was inexcusable that she had never thanked her; she had never thanked the woman who had saved their daughter unselfishly although she would've had every reason to turn them down. It seems as if everbody was a better parent than she was. Even Angela, who wasn't even Gwen's parent.

"Nobody wants to take your daughter away from you, Kathleen," Tony tried to reassure her. "Lynnie needs her mother."

"She's got Angela," Kathleen replied.

"Angela is not her mother."

"No? I thought she'd like to be."

"Yes, ... she'd ... like to be. She, ... well, ... _we_ miss having a child of our own," Tony said, and the sadness in his voice moved Kathleen. She waited for the familiar feeling of satisfaction, yet to her complete surprise it wouldn't come. Instead she felt ashamed. Ashamed of having worked so hard to deny him his biggest wish, and of the woman he loved so much.

Kathleen started chewing her lower lip. "You're not taking her away from me?"

"Kathleen, I once raised a daughter without her mother, and I've seen how lost Samantha was, and still is sometimes. I don't want to see my second daughter go through the same difficulties. And Angela also knows that for a child of divorce it's important to be connected to both parents. Jonathan smarted from the lack of involvment by his father, and she wants to spare Lynnie the same disappointment. Don't you see, that we're not your enemies? Let's work together to make Lynnie's life full, carefree and a pleasure to live!"

* * *

><p>While Tony was still working on persuading Kathleen of his altruistic motives, Angela tried to engage Lynnie into an open conversation back home in Fairfield.<p>

"Lynnie, what's the matter? Have I done anything wrong?" Angela asked looking at her with an earnest expression.

"What makes you think that?" Lynnie knew exactly what did, but tried to sound clueless.

"I have the feeling you're avoiding me," Angela said, and the worry in her eyes as well as in her voice hit Lynnie.

"I'm not avoiding you!"

"Oh, come on, Lynnie! You cancelled our last shopping trip the very last second, you leave the room as soon as I enter, and you've hardly talked to me since you found out about your father's and my history. I'd call that avoiding!"

She was right. She was absolutely right. Lynnie had been avoiding Angela. Not on purpose, or because she had done something wrong, but because Lynnie felt so guilty. She didn't mean to hurt Angela, but since she had learned about the events before and shortly after she had been born, she felt uneasy in Angela's presence, for her mere being had brought so much pain and sorrow into Angela's life. She missed their good relationship though. Lynnie had always liked Angela a lot, from the day she had first met her. During the ten years she had been living in her house, they had shared hundreds of carefree moments, either together with Tony or just the two of them, and it kept amazing Lynnie that she had never sensed the slightest kind of resentment from Angela's side, ever. How was that possible? She had to hold her responsible for having lost so many years with the love of her life, hadn't she?

"Angela, can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Angela said. She wanted to clear the air between them. She missed the light, carefree mood the teenager used to spread within the house. And she had a hunch that the uneasiness between them might be based on a misconception.

"Ever since I've heard what my mother did to you, I'm asking myself what you see in me, Angela."

"What I see in you? I don't understand."

"What am I for you? Your boyfriend's daughter? The offspring of a woman you despise? The person who destroyed your life?"

"You didn't destroy my life!" Angela clarified.

"Of course I did! Dad left you because my mother was pregnant with me, and you missed your chance to have your own baby with him! You must hold me accountable for it! You must!"

Angela stared at Lynnie. Her heart almost stood still at the notion that this adorable girl blamed herself for something which wasn't her fault at all. Was that the reason why she had distanced herself from her?

"Sweetheart, nothing of what had happened between your father and me was your fault! You were a baby! An innocent baby! How could I ever hold you accountable for anything?"

"But-"

"No but!" Angela cut Lynnie off. "We, the adults were responsible for what had happened, but certainly not a newborn!"

"I understand that my mother and Dad were responsible. But you?" Lynnie asked.

"Well, ..." Angela sighed. She still didn't understand why she had simply stood back, watching Kathleen taking Tony away from her. "I was angry at your father that he had gotten involved with another woman, but didn't do so much against it. Did you know that when he confessed to me that he had spent the night with your mother I didn't ask him to end things but told him that maybe we should meet other people in order to find out whether we belonged to each other? That was so stupid! I should've told him that I loved him and wanted to be with him. But I was too proud to fight for him. Your mother wasn't. She fought for the man she wanted."

"But she didn't play fair!"

"True, but I didn't take part in the game at all. I left the field to her, and that was something I blamed myself for a long time. Love isn't something which drops into your lap, Lynnie, you have to fight for it. I thought if he really loved me, if he really wanted to be with me, he'd come back to me eventually."

"He did," Lynnie said, "only years later."

"You're right. But these were dreadful years. Lost years. Years I look back at with much regret."

"I'm so sorry." Lynnie laid her hand on Angela's lower arm and squeezed it compassionately.

"Well, I'm over it now. I've accepted that I also played a part in how things turned out. It helped me to let your father back into my life. And I'm glad I did."

"Oh, so am I, Angela! You've made him so happy, and I ..." Lynnie stopped in the middle of the sentence. She was about to enter dangerous emotional territory again.

"You what?" Angela probed. She knew that she had to get to the bottom of Lynnie's troubled mind.

"I was happy here, too," the girl finally admitted.

"You _were_? What's that supposed to mean?"

Lynnie stared at Angela. She had made a silent decision to put aside her own needs in favor of the woman who had done the very same for her years ago.

"I'm going to live with my Mom."

"You what?" Angela screamed.

"I want you to marry Dad, Angela. You two deserve to be married. Finally! You didn't marry all these years ago because of me, and I don't want to be the reason once more for why you don't marry. If Mom wants me to live with her should the two of you get married, so be it. I can do that for two years. Then I'll be 18 and I can do whatever I want. I'll move out and never talk to her again."

Angela gasped, leaned back in her chair, and stared at Lynnie with saucer-eyes. "You can't be serious," she whispered.

"I've never been this serious in my life before."

"You don't really believe that your father and I will let you to do this," Angela said hoarsely, her eyes filling with tears.

"You have to!" Lynnie looked defiantly at Angela.

"No, Sweetheart," Angela said in her soothing voice. She leaned forward and took the girl's hands in hers. "Don't you know that we want you to live with us? Your father would suffer like a dog if he hadn't you, ... and I would miss you, too. Do you really think we would base our happiness on your misery? What kind of pa- ..." Angela startled a bit about the word lingering at the tip of her tongue, but then she spoke it out with a warm smile on her face, "What kind of parents would we be, if we really took this into consideration?"

"But I want to pay you back some of what you did for me, Angela! Don't you understand? I owe it to you!" Lynnie tried to explain her motives.

"I do understand, Lynnie. And I'm deeply touched by what you want to do for me. But haven't you been listening? You don't owe me anything! You're not responsible for anything which happened! You were a baby! An adorable, beautiful, innocent baby! When I first saw you in your father's arms two days after you were born, I wished you had been mine. I saw the love for you in Tony's eyes," Angela's voice was all shaky now, "the pride, and the happiness. And when you came here, after being cured from your accident, seizing this house like a whirlwind, you enchanted me once again! You're a wonderful, charming and endearing young woman. Don't you know that I love you?"

"How can you love me?"

"I can love you because we are family! That's something your father taught me, actually." Angela had to think back to when she had been fired by Wallace & McQuade and Tony had eased her fear for the future by telling her they would go through the difficult time together, as a family. "You don't have to be related necessarily to be a family. Family isn't about blood-relationship, it's all about caring for each other and being there for each other. Don't you think we've done that for the past ten years?"

"Yes," Lynnie whispered.

"Good!" Angela brushed a tear off the teenager's cheek. "So listen, Lynnie, when I marry your father, ... I-I mean, ..." Angela cleared her throat and her heart skipped a beat. Where had that come from? Had she just said _when_ I marry your father? Until now it had been a matter of 'if', _if_ I marry Tony'. Since when was it a matter of only 'when' and not of 'if' anymore? "Uhm, ... I mean _if_ I ever marry your father, ..." Her voice broke again. She frowned and wasn't able to finish her sentence. Angela had wanted to tell Lynnie that she wouldn't be forced to live with her mother in case they got married, that she was old enough to decide where she wanted to live, that her mother couldn't make her live with her against her will, ... but she wasn't able to think this thought through anymore. Her head was spinning and she became giddy.

"Angela? Are you alright?"

"Yes, ... No."

Lynnie smiled. "You just said _when_ I marry your father!" Her smile became even wider. "So, have you made up your mind?" She raised an eyebrow and looked at Angela quizzically.

"Huh?"

"Are you finally going to marry him?"

"What would you say if I did?" Angela asked.

"You'd be my step-mother," Lynnie noted matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I guess I would."

"I'd like that."

"You would?"

Lynnie nodded. They stared at each other, then both women simultaneously started to cry.


	9. Chapter 9

**9**

Jonathan's cell phone bounced up and down on the wooden bench where he had just put it to assist the little boy sitting in front of him with tying his shoe laces. He sighed, checked the display for who the caller was, sighed again, then decided to take the call.

"Mom? It's not a very good moment right now," he told her.

A bunch of kids came running down the hallway. Jonathan would've preferred to instantly end the call; he didn't want his mother to jump to wrong conclusions. He didn't want her to jump to any conclusions at all to be precise. But it was too late.

"What's that noise? Children?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, children." He hoped this would suffice, and maybe it would've, because Angela's mind was too occupied with other, more important matters than where her son exactly was at this particular moment, but then she overheard a childish voice, and it was talking to Jonathan.

"Tojatan," - the little boy still had problems pronouncing his name correctly - "done!" He proudly held out his right foot. Jonathan chuckled about the undefinable knot the boy had tied. With the cell phone hemmed between his shoulder and his ear he tried to entangle the laces and hoped his mother hadn't heard the boy.

"Jonathan, where are you? Near a playground?"

"Sort of, ..." Well, there was a playground outside the day care center where he came every Thursday afternoon to pick up Alexander, Emily's three-year-old son.

"I need to talk to you, Jonathan. Do you have a minute for your mother?"

"Actually, I'm in a meeting with someone. Can't it wait, Mom?" Again he wasn't lying, only stretching the truth a bit.

"Uhm, ... well, not really," Angela said. Her talk to Lynnie had stirred her up. She was at the verge of making an important decision, and she didn't want to make it without talking to her grown-up son because it would affect him too. Although not as much as if she had made that very same decision a few years earlier. "Can't you cancel?"

"No, Mom, I'm sorry, I can't cancel."

"Tojatan, we go now? I want my ice cream," Alexander once again interrupted. Patience wasn't a trait which could be expected from a three-year-old who had been promised a huge ice cream cone after being picked up from day care.

"Jonathan, who is talking to you? It sounds like a little boy."

Jonathan moaned. "It _is_ a little boy, Mom. His name is Alexander, he's three years old, and I promised to buy him ice cream in the park."

"You're taking a three-year-old boy to the park? Why?"

"Because his mother doesn't have time to take care of him on Thursday afternoons." Jonathan knew that this wouldn't serve as a good enough explanation but it was worth a try.

"And why are _you_ looking after him? Are you having a job I don't know of?" Nothing of what she heard made any sense to Angela.

"Alright, what the heck," Jonathan mumbled. He had wanted to tell his mother several times but the moment had never been right. This wasn't the perfect time and place either, but now that she had already gotten a glimpse on it, he might as well let the cat out of the bag completely. "Alexander is the son of someone I'm seeing for a while. Her name is Emily, she's a teacher and works full time. The day care center closes at 2 pm on Thursdays, that's why I take care of him on Thursday afternoons."

Angela gasped. "You're dating a mother?"

"She's not married, if that's what you think. The guy left her when she told him she was pregnant. She's a single working mom."

Memories from the past came to the surface in Angela's mind whenever she heard this expression - single working mom. She had become one the day Michael had left her, and it had been a tough time. She felt instant compassion for every single working mother, for she knew how hard it was to manage your own life as well as that of your child alone. She didn't even want to imagine how Jonathan's and her life would've turned out if Tony hadn't shown up to support her.

"Since when are you two dating?" Angela asked.

"For a couple of months." It was a little more than half a year now, and Jonathan knew exactly how his mother would react to the news. So he held the phone away from his ear.

"A couple of _months_?" Even Alexander who was shifting impatiently from one foot to the other in front of Jonathan could hear Angela's voice. "Why haven't you told me earlier?"

"Well, I didn't know how you would react. It's not exactly a relationship Fairfield's elitist women's circle would approve."

"Come on, give me a little credit! Since when do we care about what Fairfield's women think about the relationships of the Bower-Micelli-household?"

"True," Jonathan had to admit. Although there had been a time he had cared. As a boy he had been bullied by his classmates who had called his mother a bimbo, keeping herself a lover under the guise of calling him her housekeeper. But only until Sam had taken care of the matter and had made Jimmy Randall, the leader of the gang, apologize to him with a conscience-stricken look and a bleeding nose. Jonathan had always admired the dignified way his mother had ignored the whispering and gawking within their neighborhood. "Well, maybe I thought you've had enough complicated relationships in your life and wanted to spare you this one until I knew it was serious."

"So? Is it serious?"

"We're getting along pretty well, even the kiddo and me." He smiled at Alexander who started dragging Jonathan toward the door. "Come on, Tojatan, let's go!"

"Are you going to introduce her to us? How about next weekend? I could ask Tony to bake one of his delicious cakes, and maybe some chocolate chip cookies for the boy."

"You rather mean for yourself, Mom," Jonathan teased her. "That's a good idea though. I'll ask Emily. But we would have to bring Alex along. Would that be a problem?"

"Why should that be a problem? Do you really think I would ask a young mother to leave her kid at home?"

"Okay, I let you know whether we can make it next weekend."

In the meanwhile Jonathan and Alexander had left the day care center and were heading toward the ice cream parlor. The boy had taken Jonathan's hand and couldn't get his mind off the huge strawberry ice cream cone he would be having in a couple of minutes.

"What was it you wanted to talk to me about, Mom?"

Angela had almost forgotten why she had called Jonathan in the first place. She was so excited about meeting his girlfriend and her little son. Now her pulse skyrocketed and all the phrases she had prepared to break the news had vanished.

"Mom? It sounded important," Jonathan asked once again.

"It is. ... Uh, ..."

"Something wrong with Grandma?" The horror in his voice was unmistakable.

"No, Grandma's fine."

"Sam? Lynnie?"

"The girls are fine, too."

"Tony?"

"Uhm, ..."

"Oh my god, it's Tony! Is he sick?"

"No, no! He's perfectly alright."

"Mom! Are you going to tell me or what?"

Angela took a deep breath. "I ... think I'm going to marry Tony."

Silence. Jonathan hadn't anticipated anything like this.

"Jonathan? You still there?"

"Yes, I'm still here. Wow, ..."

"Wow-yay or wow-oh no?"

Angela held her breath. When Jonathan had been little, it had always been a given thing that she would never marry someone he wouldn't be able to come to terms with. That he had seen a potential stepfather in Tony had been obvious at least since he had played cupid and had tried to pair the two of them up. Things were a little different right now of course. Jonathan wasn't a little boy anymore. He was an independent, self-sufficient grown-up man, of marriageable age himself. Maybe Angela actually sought Jonathan's advice rather than his approval.

"Hey, that's great, Mom! And I thought it would never happen. When is the wedding gonna take place?"

"Well, ..." Angela hesitated, "I haven't accepted his proposal yet. I wanted to talk to you first."

"To me? Why would you want to talk to me first? I know that I wasn't very happy when he returned after having abandoned you, ... I mean_ us_. I was angry at you that you let him back into our lives. I thought you were debasing yourself with allowing him to kiss you when he suddenly showed up at Fairfield after so many years. I thought he hadn't deserved to even touch you again after what he'd done to you. When I had seen you in that hospital bed after your nervous breakdown - so distraught and exhausted, so hurt and lonely - I had been so scared that I might lose you. And I had blamed Tony for your breakdown. But one day I realized that he was doing you good. After he'd come back, I saw happiness and joy returning to your eyes and your smile. I made up with him the day you sent me to that soccer field where Lynnie's team was practicing. Remember? ... Actually, you should know that I'd be totally okay with you guys marrying, so why do you think you need to talk to me before making a decision? I don't really understand, Mom."

"Maybe because if Tony and I marry, it won't only affect the two of us; it will formally connect a lot of people. You and Sam will finally be stepsiblings, Lynnie will be my stepdaughter, ... and your stepsister."

"Ahhh, now it's beginning to add up! ... Hold on for a sec, Mom!" Jonathan and Alexander had reached the ice cream parlor. It was an authentic Italian place which was supposed to have the best homemade ice cream in the area. He ordered what he had promised his little friend and handed him a huge waffle cone filled with delicious strawberry ice cream, sprinkled with colorful sugar pearls. The boy's eyes were beaming with delight and he instantly started licking. Jonathan knew that Alex would be occupied with savoring this delicacy for some time, which would give him the quiet to continue the important talk with his mother. "Lynnie called me the other day and asked whether I had ever been mad at Sam because I had to share my mother with her. I didn't know what this was all about, and she refused to explain any further. But now I get it. She feels insecure about my attitude towards her role within the family."

"Lynnie has to deal with a lot of issues at the moment. She found out everything about Tony and me, ... well, Tony, me and Kathleen that is."

"Oh boy! That explains Kathleen's crazy behavior at Lynnie's birthday party. I bet she isn't too happy about the two of you marrying!"

"That's another issue we have to deal with. ... What did you tell her?"

"Who?"

"Lynnie. When she asked you whether you had ever been mad at Sam."

"I told her that I've never been mad at her. I never had the feeling she took you away from me. And besides, she's given me parts of her Dad in return."

"So, having two stepsisters wouldn't make you feel booted out?"

"No, Mom," Jonathan chuckled, but instantly became sincere again. "And you? How do _you_ feel about becoming Lynnie's stepmother? What you feel about Sam I know, but the situation is a little different with her."

"You're a very sensitive young man, Jonathan Bower!" Angela inhaled deeply. "I never wanted you to be an only child, ..." she replied, thus avoiding to answer his question directly.

"Why didn't Dad and you have more children then?"

"Welllll, ..." Angela cleared her throat, "your father was away much after you had been born, and we started having discussions about how to live as a family. It became obvious soon enough that a big family wasn't the right way for us."

"Tony's different," Jonathan said, "he's Italian."

"Yeah, but in addition to that he's warm, caring, and giving. He loves being a father. He's simply crazy about kids. Your little Alexander will end up sitting on his lap next weekend, I'm sure."

"Mom, you're crazy about kids, too. And you're also warm and caring. You've got a heart the size of a bowling ball! You're the best mother I can imagine! You cared for Sam as if she were your daughter, and you've been doing exactly the same for Lynnie. You paid for her treatment at a time both her parents treated you like shit, for heaven's sake!" Jonathan began to understand what his mother's problem was. "Is this why you're hesitating? Because Lynnie is Kathleen's daughter and not yours?"

"Possibly." Angela swallowed away a lump which threatened to suffocate her.

"That's absurd, Mom! Tony and you raised three kids together. We're a family almost as long as I can remember. Whether or not you're married has nothing to do with it. Marriage is only about the two of you! Sam's and my - and even Lynnie's - biological parents are of no importance at all! Don't you see that with marrying each other, Tony and you will finally commit to your love? Finally, after so many years of ducking out of an outspoken commitment. Marriage means you declare you want to go through life together, you promise to care for one another come fire or high water. And if you're honest, Mom, Tony and you have been doing exactly this almost half your life; much longer than the past ten years after he'd come back. You've been looking out for each other ever since he entered our lives in 1984. That's almost a quarter of a century, Mom!"

"Do you really think I should marry him, Jonathan?"

"Yes, I most certainly do!" Jonathan couldn't believe his mother still had doubts. He had never seen her happier than during her time with Tony. Needless to say that he had also never seen her more miserable than during the six years without him. 'That's what comes from loving someone so much,' he supposed. It pained him to find her struggling with a decision which seemed to be so self-evident to everyone else. He felt she needed one last push.

"Come on, Mom, just do it!"


	10. Chapter 10

**10**

Angela looked outside the small kitchen window and found Tony in his herb garden. He grew all kinds of herbs. Italian herbs such as basil, oregano, rosemary and thyme, but also basics like parsley, aneth, chives and chervil. He even had some Asian plants, curry leaves and Thai basil. It was the place around the house where he could relax best; working with his hands, letting the early summer sun warm his back, neglecting the worries and troubles of his life.

Angela went outside. She tapped Tony on the shoulder, "Honey, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure, Sweetheart. What is it?"

"Would you mind leaving your herbs alone for a sec? I'd prefer to talk inside the house."

"No prob," Tony answered. He put the rake aside, took off his garden gloves and followed Angela into the kitchen.

"A cup of coffee and a brownie?" Angela asked, her voice an octave higher it usually was. A wave of nervousness had caused this silly displacement activity; they just had had a coffee and a brownie before Tony had gone outside about an hour ago.

"What's the matter, Angela? You seem a little tense." Tony looked at her sympathetically.

Angela was so nervous, she couldn't stand still. She couldn't keep her mind from traveling back to the day Tony had confided in her after he had spent the night with Kathleen. The kitchen definitely wasn't the right spot for what she was about to say.

"Can we go into the living room?"

"What's wrong with the kitchen? We did a lot of talking in here. We talked about the kids in here. When you lost your job at Wallace & McQuade you cried in my arms in here. Sitting at this table you listed up the pros and cons of marrying Geoffrey."

"I remember all these conversations, Tony, but there's one I'd rather forget and I can't get it off my mind, that's why I prefer the living room this time. Please?" Angela insisted although Tony had already taken a seat at the small kitchen table.

"Okay, if it's so important to you," he complied, but he didn't really comprehend what was bothering her.

They had had all kinds of conversations in this kitchen - good ones and painful ones. They had fought in this kitchen, and they had kissed in there. He had pleaded for a second chance in this kitchen. He connected both good as well not so good memories with this room, but then it suddenly struck him. He had also told her about Kathleen in this room. Angela's face, when she had asked him whether it was over, had been branded into his memory. Her fearful, beseeching eyes had been haunting him for ages, albeit less often during the past years. But every now and then, especially when Kathleen had once again interfered in their lives, he recognized the same sadness in her eyes. And the more she tried to hide it from him, the more sorry he was that he had brought them both in this intricate situation with his affair.

"Tony?" Angela pulled him out of his reverie. She was standing in the door frame, holding the swinging door open for him.

He looked up and was relieved that he didn't see any of the sad emotions in her eyes he had just been thinking about. But he realized that she was anxious and nervous, and if she needed to go into the living room for talking something away, he wouldn't oppose.

"Okay, here we are, Angela. What's on your mind, Honey?" Tony tried to get the conversation started.

"I've done a lot of thinking lately. And talking. To all kinds of people."

"Yeah?" Tony got a little tense himself now. He didn't know what to expect from this conversation. And if he was honest, he had had enough difficult and complicated talks lately. It was so exhausting to get back to the most painful time of his life over and over again.

"It made me realize something about myself," Angela went on, unaware of Tony's latent apprehension.

"And what would that be?" 'No more reasons for why she can't marry me,' Tony silently prayed.

"That I should be grateful for what I have, instead of whining about what I lack."

"Uh-huh, ..."

"See, I talked to Lynnie when you were at Kathleen's. As you can imagine, she had a few questions she was dying to get answers for. She told me what Sam and she had talked about. Jonathan and I talked on the phone yesterday. And of course, Mother wouldn't spare me her advice as well."

Angela intertwined her hands; she had something important to say and kneading her fingers had always helped her to work off her tension.

"All this talking made me realize that we have three wonderful children, Tony. They are all ours. They lived with us - or they still do -, we raised them, we told them everything about life, they come to us for advice. They are wonderful, and I love them. All _three_ of them." After a short break and a deep inhale she continued, "My life is wonderful. My life with _you_ is wonderful. Who tells me that it would've been any better if we had been given the time to have our own baby? Nobody, because nobody knows how life would've turned out if this or that had happened or hadn't happened. Maybe I wouldn't have conceived. Maybe I would've miscarried. Maybe our child would've been sick."

Until now Angela had been scurrying around the living room, her movements followed closely by Tony's pair of eyes. Now she stood still and looked him straight in the eye.

"What I'm trying to say is that life wouldn't necessarily be better than it is right now, it could also be blue and sad. I am very happy now, and I should enjoy it."

"Angela, does this mean by any chance that you are willing to rethink what you said about not being able to marry me?"

"I've done quite a bit rethinking recently."

"I see. Good. Have you come to a conclusion?"

"Yes."

"So you're done thinking - or rethinking - and have made a decision?"

"Yes, I have."

Tony threw Angela an asking look. He wasn't sure why she had become so taciturn all of a sudden. Was it a good sign or not? She was torturing him with being so vague. He couldn't tell whether she wanted to let him down gently or tried to raise his hopes. Both seemed possible at that point.

"Come on, Angela, throw me a bone! Don't let me starve here!" he begged.

"I love you Tony."

At least she spoke in full sentences now.

"Okay, no surprise here! Any reason for telling me just now?"

It seemed as if he had to tear every answer out of her.

"And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Go ahead, Angela. You're on the right track," Tony encouraged her. He would've liked to grab her shoulders and shake everything out of her. 'She wants to marry you after all,' a voice screamed in his head, a voice he didn't dare to believe yet.

"Uhm," Angela cleared her throat.

"Do you want me to ask you again?" Tony said in his soothing voice, "I can kneel down if you want."

"No," she chuckled and shook her head, "there's no need for that."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"So?"

"I ... I'll ask you."

"Ask me what?" He raised an eyebrow. His nerves were strained to the utmost.

Angela cast down her eyes and whispered, "Whether you still want to marry me."

The wrinkles on Tony's forehead slowly disappeared. He would've wished the voice in his head gave him a shout once more.

"What did you say?"

This time Angela looked at him, her eyes wide open and determined. "I want to be married to you, Tony. Marry me, please!"

He had been afraid that he had misunderstood the first time, because she had spoken so quietly, but now he was sure he had heard her right.

"Baby, you don't have to plead with me! Of course I'll marry you! If you want, we elope right away and return tonight as Mr. and Mrs. Micelli!" he joked but Angela didn't laugh. The matter was too serious and she had struggled too much with making the decision to be able to laugh about it.

"I've wanted to be your wife for as long as I can remember," she admitted.

"Since I first showed up at your doorstep?" Tony grinned. It was his way to cope with the situation which gave rise to joy on the one hand, but had come so out of the blue that he wasn't sure whether he could trust his feelings on the other.

"Well, maybe not since that early," she now smiled, but became very sincere right after, "but I guess I thought about it once in a while after you had accidentally told me you loved me the day of your appendectomy."

"Ey oh, Angela, I might've been drugged at the time, but I didn't say anything I didn't mean. I said it, and I meant it."

"And I meant what I said when I was sleep talking."

"Gee, we were truly masters of unspoken emotions! Remember that bartender who once told us we would make a great couple if we could only stay unconscious? If I think back now, I can't explain anymore why we were so reluctant to acknowledge our feelings. On the way we somehow forgot to fall in love. It seems as if we had become so used to smother our feelings for each other that we couldn't stop, ... until it was too late at some point." A heavy sigh escaped his throat. It still gave Tony physical pain to think back to the time everything had begun to go wrong. "If we had been a bit more forward from the start, we could've-"

"No!" Angela cut him off sharply, "no more what ifs, Tony! I'm sick of twisting and turning the past! It's no use! We only have this one life, and we try to live it right, to make the right decisions at the right time. And we both decided that it was too early for us, and we were right. It wasn't only about us, it was about us and ... our children. We did it for Samantha and Jonathan. Our family was sacred to us."

"It still is, Angela."

"Yes, it is, ... If there's one thing I regret, then it's that I allowed Kathleen to tear us apart for good. She made us break off our friendship, and I shouldn't have let that happen so easily. I should've fought harder for it. For _you!_"

"Actuallyyyyy, ..." Tony chewed his lower lip.

Angela furled her eyebrows. "Actually what?"

"Sometimes I think because she so badly tried to erase you from my memory, our marriage never had a real chance. If Kathleen had given me the freedom to keep you as my friend, I might've stayed in that marriage much longer, despite being unhappy in it - for Lynnie's sake."

"So you mean we have to thank her?"

"Not really!" He grinned, but then banished his ex-wife out of his mind instantly. He didn't want to think or talk about her right now, but about the woman who was standing in front of him. She was the object of his desire. She had started out as his boss, had become his friend, later his confidante and soul mate. After their friendship had come out of its artificial hibernation she had been his girlfriend, his life partner and lover. And it seemed that right now they were at the threshold to something new, something both had wished for and daydreamed of for a long time.

"You know what, Angela?"

"What?"

"You and I have been good together from the start. We became a family very soon after Sam and I had moved in, although we were total strangers, coming from different worlds."

"You realized earlier than I did, remember? When I lost my job at Wallace & McQuade and you tried to cheer me up with saying that we would get through it as a family."

"Of course I remember. It was the first time you let me have a look at your vulnerable soul."

"It was the first time you made me feel I could rely on you come rain or shine. As if we had been married back then already."

"I guess we were like a married couple all those years."

"You're right. The way you fought at my side to keep custody of Jonathan, ..."

"The way you wanted to give Samantha the best education with sending her to Montague, ..."

"They are our children."

"Yes, they are." Tony bit his tongue. He wasn't sure whether he should ask this particular question, but he needed to know. He couldn't start into this new life with her without knowing. "What about Lynnie?"

"What about her?"

"Do you feel like she's your daughter, too?" He held his breath.

"She's someone else's daughter."

"So you're having a more difficult relationship to her because Kathleen is her mother?"

"Not because Kathleen is Kathleen, but because she's so omnipresent. She plays a much more vital role in Lynnie's life than Michael ever had in Jonathan's. But I wouldn't call it difficult, it's just a different relationship to her than to the other two. I'm reminded that she's not my daughter every second weekend, when she's over at Kathleen's, and that's not so easy to cope with. But I love her, Tony! I love her just like I love Sam! She belongs to my life like the other two. She's a wonderful young woman!"

"Well, I have the feeling that Lynnie won't see her mother that often for the time being. Kathleen really screwed it up!"

"Maybe she finds her way back to her mother some day. I hope so, because I've seen how Jonathan suffered from lacking his father."

"I hope so, too. That was what I tried to explain to Kathleen the other day. I'm not sure she understood, but I think I made her contemplate at least. Life would be a lot easier for all of us, if she managed to concentrate on improving her relationship to her daughter instead of trying to harm ours." He took Angela in his arms and looked at her. "Which brings me back to our relationship."

"Yes?" Angela returned his look with an expression on her face so innocent and casual that for a split second he doubted that they had really talked about marriage a few moments ago.

"Are we facing a major shift here?" he asked.

"If you want to call it that," Angela answered. "I, on my part, don't see so many changes."

"Well, you'll have to accommodate to a new last name."

"Oh, ... right!" Angela's eyes sparkled as she played along. "That'll be a huge change! I'll have to get a new passport, I'll have to practice my signature, we'll have to change the name plate on the letter box, ... Oh my god!" She put a hand in front of her mouth, "Do I have to rename the Bower Agency in the end?"

"Aaangelaaa, don't make fun of me!"

Angela beamed at him. "I don't! I just feel so lighthearted! I've really been struggling with this, Tony, you know. But now that it's been spoken out, ... I simply know I'm doing the right thing. I love you, and I want to be married to you."

Tony gazed at her. He had waited for this particular moment for a long time, and he knew exactly what he wanted to happen next.

"Wait here, I'll be right back!"

With this he turned on the spot and scooted upstairs. He was away for too little a time for Angela to muse about what for, so as soon as she had realized that she was standing in the middle of the living-room all alone, he was back again.

"Close your eyes."

"What's this all about, Tony?" Angela had to chuckle, still in a playful mood.

"Close your eyes," he repeated, and when she had followed his orders with a girlish giggle, he drew something out of his pants pocket and held it out in front of her face. "You may open your eyes now," he then said.

Angela did as asked. When her eyes fell on the item in front of her face her jaw dropped and she almost forgot to breathe. The tomfoolery which had appropriated her mind just a few moments ago was gone from one second to the next. She was unable to utter a single word, she only stared at him with eyes so wide, he was afraid the eyeballs might fall out.

"You recognize it?"

"Of course I do," Angela managed to say. She took the item from his hand and looked at it. It was a filigree golden ring with a little sea blue chalcedony. The gemstone with an oval cushion cut was wrapped in a simple, unfussy setting. Slowly, only very slowly was Angela able to look away from the piece of jewelry and into Tony's eyes.

"Remember where you saw it first?" he asked.

"Sure. In Sicily, when we visited your uncle Aldo's winery. We were strolling through the little village and I spotted it in the window of this tiny, secluded antique shop. But the shop was closed and we left for New York the next morning," Angela said, still marveled by the fact that she was holding the ring she had fallen in love with so many years ago in her hand right now.

"When we returned to uncle Aldo's estate, I told Lucia about the ring. I left her some money, she went there the next day, bought it for me and sent it over. I have it in my keeping ever since. It's not really valuable though, it's not a truly antique piece."

"It's the most precious piece of jewelry I've ever got," Angela told him in a tearful voice. Her knees got wobbly upon hearing the ring's story. She took a few steps backwards and collapsed on the sofa's armrest, unable to take her eyes off the ring in her hand. "I can't believe you did this." Her voice could still hardly be heard. "I can't believe you bought this ring."

"I pictured it to look wonderful on your hand and I thought it was a perfect engagement ring."

"That was almost 20 years ago! And you were involved with Kathleen at the time."

"I didn't buy it for her, ..."

Angela bit her lower lip and swallowed hard. She stared at Tony, petrified. "You bought an engagement ring for me, although you were in a relationship with someone else?"

"You know that I never planned to marry her, Angela! I kept this ring together with your father's cuff-links in the back of my nightstand drawer when I was in that marriage. And whenever I felt that life was bleak I had a look at it, and it cheered me up. Somehow I knew that one day it would end up where it belonged. Do you want me to put it on your finger?"

Angela didn't answer him, but gave him the ring and held out her left hand. He took both, the ring as well as her trembling hand, and gently slipped the ring on her left ring finger. Then he pulled the hand up to his mouth and placed a tender kiss on it.

"I guess we're engaged now," Tony said with a smile.

"Uh-huh." Angela still wasn't able to speak in full sentences. She was too overwhelmed by what Tony had done without her knowledge all those years ago, so Tony decided to do the talking, "If you ask me, a kiss is definitely called for."

"Yes, definitely," Angela breathed with a nod.

They engaged in a kiss which started as a light butterfly kiss, their lips hardly touching, but it already threatened to throw Angela off balance. She held on to Tony for dear life, and when he breathed "I love you, Angela. I've always loved you" into her ear, she gave him an all-consuming kiss which made him forget time and place. Only when Tony's lips were swollen from Angela's fiery kisses, and Angela's sore from Tony's stubble, they stopped and pulled apart.

Tony squeezed Angela gently and asked, "So, do you want a big wedding or a small?"

"What do _you_ want?"

"I asked you first!"

"Alright, ... I'd prefer a small wedding. Just the family and our closest friends. It's family this is all about, isn't it?"

"Finally, we'll be an official family; after almost 25 years of living as a family. Even when we were apart, there still was this familial bond. If not necessarily between us, it was there between Jonathan and Sam, and between Sam and you. We never lost contact, and I always knew that it was something worth fighting for. And the best is yet to come!"

* * *

><p>"So, we were like a married couple from early on, huh? I guess we really were, well, just for the, ... uh, ... you know, ..." Tony said, stroking Angela's hair. She had put her head on his chest and inhaled his masculine scent. The four-poster bed, which Angela had slept in alone for so many years, was all rumpled, their heated bodies covered by the big duvet.<p>

"Sex?"

He grinned a little embarrassed. "Yep! I'm glad we caught up on that!"

"So am I!" With her index finger she drew little circles around his nipples. "You know that I would've let you take me to bed in Jamaica, don't you? If you had made a move."

"Yes, I know. And I was tempted, believe me. That was hell of a kiss we shared on that bench!"

"It was the second time we spoke about marriage."

"I remember. _Until_ and _unless,_ ... My wording was a bit awkward."

"I understood what you were trying to say."

"You've always understood me."

"Do you remember when we first spoke about marriage?"

"Sure. At Paul's and Isabelle's wedding. When we walked down that aisle, as maid of honor and best man, I pictured us as bride and groom."

Angela smiled. "So did I."

"I know," Tony said with a boyish grin.

"How did you know?"

"It was written all over your face!"

"No, it was not!"

"It was, Angela. And I was spooked."

"Spooked?"

"We were in a solid employer-employee relationship back then. We had become friends, granted, but you were off-limits for me, your housekeeper!"

"Did you really think I was such a snob?"

"I know you weren't, that's why I was so spooked. It was always me who had more problems with the social conventions, not you! Imagining how people would talk about you, whispering 'she's dating the maid' in a condescending tone, made me want to throw up."

"Is that why you pushed me into Geoffrey's arms that night?"

"I guess so. But then I became so jealous, and when he threatened to take you away from me I had to intervene!"

"I'm glad you did, because it showed me that you indeed had feelings for me. I had doubted that already. But I wouldn't have married him anyway though, I knew myself that I wasn't into that relationship deeply enough to marry him."

"You hid that quite well."

"I'm a master of hiding my feelings."

"Not always."

"Like in Jamaica?"

"For example. The way you told me you wouldn't mind if I mowed lawn in Central Park took my breath away."

"I was only being honest."

"That's exactly what took my breath away."

"At that moment, I was so positive that we would end up being married."

"So was I! And I really can't explain why the things that happened afterwards did happen. Not up to this very day."

"It sure was a long journey."

"Long and rough and windy."

"How will it continue, what do you think?"

"It will be exciting and uplifting and full of love!"

With this he sat up, made her lean back, gently stroked her cheek, and kissed her.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Author's note: **__I would've preferred to call this Chapter 11 - Part One and the next Chapter 11 - Part Two. But it would be confusing because they would be listed as Chapter 11 and 12. But they belong together, so don't get upset in the end...it won't be all you get to see of this day. Enjoy! And I mustn't forget to thank VioletStella for her support!_

* * *

><p><strong>11<strong>

Angela was sitting in front of her vanity. She gazed at the ring on her left hand. To her dismay she couldn't dare to wear it, for people would ask her about it; one person in particular - her mother! And she as well as Tony hadn't been willing to share their sweet secret with the family and friends, not yet. They hadn't figured out when the right moment might be, and of course with waiting for the right moment, time passed by and the moment never seemed to be right.

She always had difficulties taking the ring off, because she loved it so much and was very proud about it. It still gave her goosebumps to think about all the time it had been hidden in one of Tony's drawers. It made her realize that Tony had never been a hundred percent involved with Kathleen. Angela had never heard of a man who bought an engagement ring for a woman other than the one he was in a relationship with. It was just another extraordinary detail of their very unique history together.

Right now, something else drew her mind away from these pleasant thoughts: Jonathan had arranged his visit for today, and he would bring Emily and Alexander along. Finally, she'd meet her son's girlfriend and her little boy. She was very much looking forward to the afternoon. Tony had started preparing various baked goods this morning for the occasion. That of all men in the world, she had obviously found one of the few with the capacity to spoil her with homemade chocolate-laden pastry marveled her once in a while, but most of the time she simply enjoyed it to the fullest.

Just then, a delicious scent of freshly baked double chocolate chip cookies unfolded throughout the entire house. Like one of Pavlov's dogs, it made Angela's mouth water instantly. 'I have to get one of those,' she thought. They tasted best just out of the oven, only slightly cooled, still warm and chewy, the chocolate chips molten inside. Without caring for her appearance any further, she scooted downstairs to join the skilled baker in the kitchen. Not only was he skilled, but also incredibly handsome and sexy beyond words.

"Hello there, my adorable fiancé!" she breathed into his ear, coming up behind him and putting her hands over his eyes.

"Shhh, Angela, what if somebody hears you! They don't know yet!" Tony admonished her.

"When are we going to tell them? Today?" Angela asked, while trying to reach the tray with the chocolate cookies which Tony had placed on the kitchen counter to let them cool.

"Hands off!" he shouted, "These are for the kid! For us there's cheesecake and red velvet cupcakes."

"Not even one?" Angela pouted. "I need to taste them before we offer them to our guests!"

"Nice try, Cookie Monster, but they turn out perfectly every time I make them. No need of a pre-tasting!"

Angela stepped close, flung one arm around Tony's neck, ruffled his hair, and started to nibble at his earlobe. "Hmmm, you look so sexy in an apron, are you even aware of that?"

"I am, Angela!" He pulled her close with one hand, but grabbed the wooden spoon with the other. Angela's try was just too easy to see through.

"Ouch!" she exclaimed when he hit her hand with the spoon, despite the gentleness he had applied. She stamped her foot like a five-year-old and demanded, "I want a cookie!"

"But you're not getting one! I made them for Alexander. Now behave like an adult and leave them for the child! If he leaves some for you, you can have one later."

"Okay, okay," Angela pouted once again. She had a look at the cheesecake and the cupcakes, which also looked delicious, and asked, "So, are we going to tell the family today that we're getting married? They deserve to know, Tony!"

"They do, but today? We'll meet Emily and Alexander for the first time. Shouldn't they be the center of attention?"

"But I'd like to tell them all at once, and in person. I don't want to tell anybody over the phone. I have to see their faces when we tell them. When will be the next time we have all of them here together?"

"Well, let's just see how the afternoon turns out, okay? Should the occasion arise, we tell them, if not, we'll find some other day."

"Alright," Angela said, surreptitiously looking at the tray with the cookies once again.

"Don't even think of it!" Tony warned her.

"Phhhh," Angela replied, flipped her hair and left the kitchen with bounding strides.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for the invitation, Harry, but I have other plans," Mona murmured into the phone.<p>

That she would put off a gorgeous man for an afternoon with her daughter and her party would've never seemed possible to Mona. But things between Tony and Angela were on a razor's edge, Mona sensed it with every receptive fiber of her being. She had noticed a slight easing of tension inside the house recently though, as if decisions had been made. To her complete dismay she couldn't tell what these decisions were. It was simply obvious that issues between Tony and Angela had been worked out, the remaining question was in which way. Did they agree on not getting married or were they engaged already?

Mona had waited for Angela to confide in her, but she hadn't made a move, and Mona hadn't wanted to invade her daughter's privacy. Normally, showing restraint wasn't exactly her style, especially when it came to Angela's love life, but this time the matter was too sensitive and Angela was so very insecure about it. So Mona had kept her mouth shut, even though she longed to find out about the status of Tony and Angela's relationship. She was quite sure that today was not the day Angela would pour her heart out to her. Today Jonathan was to occupy center stage, introducing his girlfriend and her son to the family.

Mona wasn't surprised at all that her grandson had fallen in love with a mother. He had always been solicitous, even as a little boy, when he had kept a snake as a pet. It had been a cold-blooded friend, but Jonathan had been all warm-blooded about it. He was sensitive, he had a big heart, and he had a role model in Tony who had shown him that a man could still be a man even if he was emotional and giving. Tony had remained a man even while he dusted and vacuumed. Mona grinned and gave herself an appreciative pat on the back for having grasped so quickly the wonderful opportunity fate had thrown at her feet the day she had met that job-seeking Italian hunk in the hall of her apartment building so many years ago.

No matter how the relationship between Angela and her former housekeeper turned out, Tony and Samantha had enriched all of their lives, and they were about to welcome two new members to the family. Mona assumed that things between Jonathan and Emily were quite serious. If they weren't, he wouldn't bother to officially introduce her at a family afternoon. So she was looking forward to the hours ahead, silently hoping that she would get at least a clue on her daughter's future marital status.

* * *

><p>Lynnie was standing in front of her closet. Her father had sent her back up to get changed. She had wanted to attend the family event in a worn-out pair of jeans and a hoodie, but Tony insisted he had a say in this.<p>

"What about a nice dress, Lynnie?"

"Come on, Dad! A dress? Seriously?" She hated dresses and had always preferred smart casual clothes.

"Alright. How about a nice pair of slacks and a blouse then?" Tony thought his daughter was beautiful and liked to see her nicely dressed. But he also didn't want to impose a fashion style which didn't suit her.

So Lynnie rummaged through her closet once more, held a white frilled blouse in front of her torso and checked her appearance in the mirror.

"Nah! That's not you, Lynnie! That's Gwendolyn! Blech!"

Then she pulled out a red-and-blue checkered blouse and a nice thin blue scarf to go with it. She put on her new denim pants she had gotten on her last shopping trip with Angela. The look was flawless, contrary to the worn-out one she had chosen earlier, so she assumed this outfit would pass her father's inspection. She brushed her blond long hair and put it in a pony tail.

She sat on her bed and wondered what the afternoon with her family would be like. Looking at it intently, it could be said that only two of all the people sitting around the big dining room table would be members of her family in the true sense of the word - her father and her half sister. Well, that made it one-and-a-half persons. Lynnie sighed. Who else would be there?

Her father's girlfriend.  
>Her father's girlfriend's mother.<br>Her father's girlfriend's son.  
>Her father's girlfriend's son's girlfriend.<br>And last but not least ...  
>Her father's girlfriend's son's girlfriend's son.<p>

She chuckled. What a gathering of people! Lynnie was wondering whether Angela's status was still that of her father's girlfriend. Maybe it had already changed to that of fiancée? After their last talk it had seemed possible that Angela would accept her dad's proposal. It had been such a good talk - open and honest. She had told Angela that she'd love for her to become her official stepmother, and it had been the truth. Even though stepmother sounded so odd, for it made you think about all the wicked stepmothers in fairytales. But Angela wasn't anything like this. She would be a terrific stepmother - warm, protective and caring. Exactly the opposite from what her biological mother stood for. And Lynnie would be thrilled to have a mother like this, even if she was only a stepmother.

She had always loved the family gatherings in Fairfield, since the first time she had been invited. She remembered how her mother had once spoiled a wonderful dinner by showing up unannounced to pick her up for the weekend. She had been too young to classify the incident for what it was - one of her many attempts to make her father's life at Angela's side miserable. Lynnie had always longed for a huge family and envied her best friend Emma to this day for her siblings and picture-perfect parents. She was looking forward to meeting two new people - Emily and Alexander, Jonathan's new girlfriend and her son.

The more, the merrier!

* * *

><p>Sam had taken the train out of the City and stood in front of the station at Fairfield looking for a cab. She knew that her father would've picked her up as he had done for years with Angela, and still did today every once in a while. But she also knew that he would be preparing a feast with all kinds of baked goods, and she didn't want to stress him, so a taxi would do. Besides, it would give her a few more minutes of quiet contemplating, something she had done a lot of in the past few days. Actually since Lynnie had told her about her problems with Kathleen and that she wanted to emancipate herself officially from her.<p>

It was so unfair, she thought. While there were daughters who wanted to get rid off their mothers, she would've given her right arm to be able to talk to her mother just once for a few hours; to tell her how her life had worked out and to show her how she had grown into a woman. Samantha didn't miss her mother daily; she had been gone far too long and Samantha had learned to manage her life without her. In Angela she had found a mother-like confidante she could always rely on when she needed one. But whenever she reached a milestone in her life, she regretted that her mother wasn't there to witness it.

'She only knew me as a little girl,' went through her mind in moments like these. He mother had missed her first date, her first hickey, her junior prom, her senior prom, when she graduated from college as well as when she got her first job. Marie would never meet her husband, nor her children. Cancer had taken these experiences away from her, and it made Sam angry. Wasn't that what motherhood was all about? Watching your children grow up and thrive? Observing how they turn into adults, becoming evermore independent from their parents? And then one day, your children become parents themselves, turning their mothers into grandmothers. Marie would miss all this, she would never be a grandmother, and she would never be able to see her daughter as a mother.

And Sam wanted to be a mother someday. She just hadn't found the right man yet, the man she pictured as the father of her children. Tony had set the bar very high, of course. He had not only been a perfect father to her, and still was, he also was the best surrogate father Jonathan could've had. Sam envied Jonathan because in a way he had two fathers, and she envied her half-sister who still had her mother in her life, despite Kathleen being a devious bitch.

Sam knew from Lynnie that their dad had proposed to Angela, and although she loved Angela very much and had always wanted it to happen, she felt cheated by fate once more. Her father had lost his first wife, and struggled with being widower for a long time; but with getting married again - this time to one he really loved - he would be a husband again. His new wife wouldn't replace the first in his heart, she knew, but she'd make him equally happy. He got a second chance for a happy marriage, whereas she had lost her mother for good. She was half-orphan and would always be one.

Her painful musings were interrupted by the cabbie, "3344 Oak Hills Drive, Ma'am."

"Ah, perfect. Thank you."

"That's 14 dollars," the driver told her.

Sam handed him a 20 dollar bill, telling him to keep the change. Then she exited the taxi.

She was looking forward to the afternoon with all the people she considered to be her family. They would heal the wound thinking about what she had lost with her mother's passing always left behind.

* * *

><p>Jonathan looked over to the woman in the passenger seat. She had long brown hair, a friendly face with a winning smile, and bright blue eyes he lost himself in every time he had a look at them.<p>

He grabbed her hand. "Nervous?"

"A bit," Emily admitted, "Meeting the parents is a big step. And your mother...I mean, she's famous."

"No, she's not."

"She is! I read articles about her agency in the paper. And a few days ago there was an interview with her on Bloomberg TV. If you google her name, you'll get like a million hits!"

"She's a normal person just like you and me. She's my mom, for heaven's sake!"

"And your father?"

"I told you Tony is not my biological father. My father lives in California with his second wife and my half sister Rebecca."

"I thought your half sister's name was Samantha."

"No, Sam is Tony's daughter. We grew up like brother and sister, but we're not siblings, not even half siblings."

"I don't understand anything anymore."

"I told you we were a complicated family. Are you convinced now?"

"Yes, and a little anxious to be honest. What if I mix them all up?"

"Wait until you meet them. They are all okay, ... well, more than okay. You'll love my grandmother! She's unique. I bet you've never met a woman in her 80s who is anything like her!"

"Are we there yet?" was yelled from the back seat where Alexander was securely buckled up in his car seat.

"Nearly there, Buddy!" Jonathan informed him and could see from the corner of his eye how Emily inhaled deeply to calm her nerves.

He couldn't help but thinking back to the conversation with his mom on the phone a few days ago. She had told him that she wanted to marry Tony. Finally! Jonathan was flattered that she had asked for his advice. He had always been very close to his mother, especially after his father had left them; and even before that he had been with them so rarely that it had mostly been just the two of them - mother and son. Only when Tony and Samantha had entered their lives, had their symbiosis been loosed a bit - to the benefit of both of them. Each had gained a peer, and it had done each of them good.

Jonathan couldn't think of anything that would make him happier than his mother and Tony getting married; maybe only if he himself married the woman of his dreams. Whether Emily was that woman, Jonathan didn't know for sure yet. He loved her very much and he enjoyed their relationship to the fullest. He had never been so sincere with a woman before, and his love and devotion to her became stronger every day.

He was surprised about how well he got along with Alexander. Until now, he had never been particularly fond of children, but this little one had captured his heart in no time. He was cute, he was honest, he was reckless, he was just fun to be with. Last Thursday, when they had been sitting on a bench in the park, Alexander enjoying his ice cream cone and Jonathan still marveling about what his mother had told him, the boy had warmed his heart, holding out his sticky hand and asking him, "Wanna try? Best ice cream ever, Tojatan!" When he had been a little boy he had often asked himself whether Tony could truly love him as much as he loved his own daughter. Now he experienced firsthand how he was getting evermore involved not only with the mother but also with her son. Obviously just like it had happened to Tony all those years ago. He was looking forward to introducing Emily and Alexander to his folks. He didn't call them his family yet, but the three of them were on the right track.

Jonathan threw a quick look at Emily and smiled at her. She smiled back, then closed her eyes and tried to picture how meeting Jonathan's family might turn out. It was the first time she met a boyfriend's mother with her own child in tow. How would the woman react upon seeing him care for a child who wasn't his. Parents longed for grandchildren, but they wanted their children to have their own kids and not the ones some other man had left behind. What would these people think of her, a woman who got knocked up and couldn't bring the father of the baby to marry her? She knew she would find out soon. There was no way of backing out now. On the other side, she loved Jonathan and she wanted to find out about his roots. He was such a gentle, loveable and polite person. She felt that he came from a good home, and she was looking forward to meeting the people who had raised him to be the man he was today.

"There it is!" Jonathan proudly announced. He pulled up the driveway and parked his car right behind Tony's jeep. He still had a black one, a Range Rover by now.

"Wow!" Alexander exclaimed, "What a cool car!"

"Oh!" Emily breathed, "What a beautiful house!"

* * *

><p>"They're here," Angela shouted through the house. The door bell had rung and she could hardly wait to answer the door.<p>

"Welcome! Come on in," she ushered Jonathan, Emily and Alexander inside. The little boy had a small bouquet in his hand and held in out to Angela. "Are you Tojatan's mom?" he demanded to know.

Angela bent down to be able to talk to him at eye level. "Yes, I am. My name is Angela. And you must be Alexander."

"Yes. This is my mom," he pointed at the woman at Jonathan's side. "Her name is Emily."

"I know," Angela had to smile about this cute introduction. She had already fallen in love with the little boy. "Hello Emily. So nice to finally meet you!" Angela shook the young woman's hand and hugged Jonathan.

"Thank you very much for the invitation, Mrs. Bower," Emily said very formally. She was a bit intimidated - by meeting her boyfriend's mom in general, by Angela and her successes in the business world in particular, by this awesome house, and last but not least by the warmth they had been welcomed with.

"Oh, please call me Angela!"

When Tony, Mona and Lynnie joined them, Jonathan introduced Emily and Alexander to everyone. Sam arrived just a minute later; the front door hadn't been closed yet. After the first bits of small talk Tony ushered everyone into the dining room and invited them all to sit at the huge mahogany table. He served coffee and tea, and Angela dished up all the delicacies Tony had baked, peering at the chocolate cookies while she placed them in front of Alexander.

"Oh wow! Chocolate cookies. My favorite," the boy exclaimed happily.

"I hope they taste as good as they look," a pining Angela couldn't hold back.

Tony threw her a mocking grin. "Of course they do!"

After everyone had their plates and cups filled, Tony started to engage Emily in a conversation. He wanted to learn more about her. He still felt protective of Jonathan, like parents always do, even of grown-up children. Emily seemed to be nice at first glance, but he wanted to make sure she really was a good match. It was one thing to date a young, beautiful woman, but it was something else to date a mother. Tony, of all people, knew.

"I hear you're also a teacher, Emily. Like me."

"Yes, I'm a kindergarten teacher."

"I once attended what I thought was an easy observing course at an elementary school," Tony explained. "I remember the teacher, Mrs. Bunch. She made me teach instead of only observe, thus awakening the interest in me to become a teacher myself. Remember how we talked about how I taught Timothy to sit and Brandon to multiply, Angela? And how you made me go with a major in teaching instead of business?"

"Of course! But I didn't __make __you choose teaching, I only encouraged you to make the decision yourself. You were a bit insecure about it."

"You have to know, Emily, that I had already decided on business as a major. I joked around about becoming CEO of Micelli Industries and promised Angela a yacht named Sea Princess Angela. Then I chose this course I thought I could easily sail through, finishing a marketing paper in the meantime. But then I enjoyed teaching very much. It was totally unexpected, and without you, Angela, I would've never dared to change my major. You said you had always known that I would do important things. That you, the successful business woman who handled million dollar accounts on a daily basis, thought that teaching was important, gave me the support I needed. That's why I'm a teacher today."

Tony squeezed Angela's hand and smiled at her.

"Aaaww, that's so nice," Emily said. "My parents are both in education, so it was kind of clear from early on that I would become a teacher, too. My father is a tenured professor for math and physics, and my mother is dean at a college, so they were a bit disappointed that I became a kindergarten teacher. They are of the opinion that teaching children to recognize letters and the basics of addition and subtraction isn't as meaningful as telling them everything about the great American poets or explaining the Pythagorean theorem."

"That's too bad, and it isn't correct either," Tony said. "When I made Brandon multiply 7 times 8, and I did it with the help of baseball," he grinned, "I gave him a sense of achievement he benefited from for the rest of his life. He had already accepted that the couldn't multiply, but I showed him he was able to do it anyway. How can that be of minor importance? A child who never learned to multiply will never understand the Pythagorean theorem either. It's a lost child. John F. Kennedy already knew, and Mrs. Bunch made me understand."

"Thank you, Tony. That's very kind. Where do you teach now?"

"I started out at an elementary school after my graduation, and now I'm a history teacher at Ridgemont College."

He left out the fact that he was also co-chair of the History Department, mainly because it didn't have much to do with teaching in general, but also not to intimidate Emily any further. That her parents looked down on her because she taught at a kindergarten instead of a college or university made him angry. 'What's wrong with those people?' he thought, 'They should be grateful that their daughter had found a job she loved and meant something to her.' Some people were just not meant to be parents, because they didn't understand that parenthood wasn't about making your children fulfill the hopes you'd put into them, but teaching them how to fulfill their own hopes and dreams.

"Where did you meet Jonathan, Emily?" Mona now asked.

"At the dentist."

"At the dentist?"

"Yes, we have the same dentist. Alex and I were sitting in the waiting room, and it took quite a long time, so my little one got a little anxious. Eventually he wanted to leave, and when I said we couldn't he started to cry. Jonathan was sitting right next to us and he heard everything. He started to tell the story of his mother's housekeeper, a strong grown-up man, who also was afraid of the dentist."

Tony's jaw dropped.

"He told him that there was no need to be embarrassed about it, and that this man had managed to overcome his fear. He said that if he had done it, Alex could do it as well."

"Jonathan? Was it really necessary to tell that story?"

"Yes it was, Tony. It was an emergency. Of course I didn't know at the time that the two chickens would ever meet." He tried to hide his grin by biting the inside of his cheek, but failed.

Emily stared at Tony. "You were the housekeeper Jonathan was talking about?"

"Uhm, ... yes," Tony admitted feebly.

Emily wasn't so much surprised that this broad-shouldered man sitting at the table opposite her had been afraid of the dentist, but rather that he had worked as a housekeeper.

"You were a housekeeper?"

"That's how Angela and I met," Tony explained. "I needed a job and a better place for my daughter to live, and Angela needed someone to look after the house and little Jonathan."

"And you started looking after Angela right away!" Mona crowed over what she thought was a very funny pun.

"Mother!" Angela warned her.

"What? Have there or have there not been sparks flying around the house from the day Tony moved in? If I remember correctly, you started kissing only half a year later."

"I don't think Emily wants to hear all of this," Angela tried to silence her mother.

Emily, who had been listening with an open mouth, endorsed Mona, "Oh, don't mind me! Go on!" She wanted to hear more about it. Jonathan hadn't told her very much about his family, and what she had heard so far made her wish for more.

"See!" Mona displayed a satisfied smile. "The way you two danced around each other for years has always been very captivating. It was like a long-running TV series right in our house. Only sometimes I wished I could write the script. I wouldn't have waited until season 13 to let you go to bed together!" She chuckled.

"Very funny, Mother!"

"Mone!" Tony hissed, but Samantha and Jonathan, being first-hand contemporary witnesses, had to laugh as well.

"We were talking about teaching, how did we end up with a topic like this?" Angela asked.

"It's much more interesting, Dear!"

"No, it's not! It's off limits – at least most people would think so – and totally inappropriate for a family get together!"

"Angela, lighten up, would you?" Mona rolled her eyes.

"I won't, Mother! You stop it! Emily must think we're nuts."

But Emily was rather fascinated. This family was so out of the ordinary. It was better than going to the movies. Jonathan had told her that his grandmother was like no other 80-year-old she had ever met. And he was right. The way she was dressed, the way she was teasing Tony and Angela, the way she talked about sex… Emily wouldn't have minded to hear more, but she could also see that Angela wasn't very comfortable.

"What is the matter with you, Angela? You seem so tense! Does it have anything to do with the ring on your left hand?" Mona finally saw a chance to pop the question which had preyed on her mind ever since she had spied the piece of jewelry on Angela's finger the moment she had said hello to her.

Angela winced and quickly hid her left hand under the table. The freshly baked cookies and their seducing scent had made her forget all about taking off her engagement ring in time. Now it was too late. Her mother had seen it, and she wouldn't give up until she knew everything about it. However, Angela gave it a try and played dumb - "I-I-I don't know what you're talking about, Mother." - but it was useless, her mother had smelled the rat.

"I've never seen that ring on you before. Where did you get it?"

"Uhm...well...oh...you mean __this __ring?" Angela looked at it as if she saw it for the first time.

"Yes, that's the one! You know what's really interesting about it? My friend Ella once got one just like this as an engagement ring."

"Really?" Angela made a wry face. "How about that, huh?"

Mona raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Do you have anything to say to this, Tony?" Mona now directed her investigative questions to the man she now knew for sure was her soon-to-be son-in-law.

Tony choked over his last bite of cheesecake. "Me?"

"Yes! You!"

"Why me? What do I have to do with it?" he tried to play dumb just like Angela had done, equally in vain.

"Oh come on, you two! Don't take us for idiots! We all know that you proposed to Angela, Tony!" Mona put on her most satisfied grin.

"How come everybody knows?" Tony asked Angela, "You said you'd have to think about it, not broadcast it."

"I didn't broadcast it," she hissed.

"Yes, she did!" Mona once again intervened. "Even the pharmacist at the corner of the agency knows it."

"You told the pharmacist? That must be why he threw me that weird look when I picked up my prescription the other day." Tony remembered the sly grin on the pharmacist's face when he had asked for some vitamin pills in addition to his order.

"Of course I didn't tell the pharmacist! It was your ex-wife who rushed into my office and trumpeted it out loud!"

"Guys!" Lynnie interrupted somewhat annoyed. "You're behaving like three-year-olds here!"

"Hey! I'm three years old, and I know how to behave!"

"Sorry, Alex," Lynnie apologized to the little boy, whose mouth was all smeared with chocolate.

If Angela hadn't been under so much pressure because of her mother's interrogation, she would've been pleased to see that Alexander had eaten many of the cookies but not all of them. But she was distracted and looked at Tony helplessly, being observed closely by six pair of eyes. Even Alexander was curious, although he didn't completely understand what the fuss was all about. But of course Mona, Samantha, Jonathan and Lynnie knew exactly what was going on in front of their eyes, and Emily only had to put two and two together.

"So?" Mona prompted sugar-sweetly, "Is there anything you want to tell us?"

Angela looked at Tony again, trying to get a clue about what he wanted her to say. But his eyes were empty and he only shrugged. She connected eyes with each family member, one after the other, sighing heavily, then she couldn't hold it any longer.

"Alright, alright! If you insist..."

"We do! Spit it out, Missy! But I warn you! If you eloped, I'm going to delete you out of my will!"

"No, Mother, we didn't elope. But..." One more look around the table, then Angela stood up and told her family what she thought they had all been dying to hear for ages, "we're getting married."

Time seemed to stand still for a moment, because nobody moved or said a word. They even seemed to have stopped breathing. All Angela could see was their jaws dropping and eyes widening. Mona leaned back and only looked at her, pursing her lips.

"Now what?" Angela yelled, "I thought you'd be happy for us!" She glanced at Tony, who again only shrugged. "Come on, Tony, say something!" she demanded.

"What should I say? I proposed, she accepted," he said nonchalantly, once again shrugging.

"As if that was all there is to it, Buddy!" Mona threw in. "You've been keeping us in the dark about you two for ages. Make that decades! And now you think you can tell us so en passant and we'll jump up and down for joy?"

"As a matter of fact, we did," Tony admitted.

"How long have you been engaged? Why didn't you tell us right away, Dad?" Sam grabbed her father's shoulder.

"Yeah, Mom, why didn't you?" Jonathan chimed in.

"I live with them and even I wasn't told!" Lynnie complained.

Angela collapsed into her chair. This was not what she had pictured this moment to be like. She was on the verge of tears now. She was about to make that huge, life-altering step after what her mother had reminded her was decades of struggling with it, and her family had nothing else to do but argue about the way she had told them.

"I knew it," she cried, "it's too much, it's too late, it's overwhelming everyone..." She buried her face in her hand, "It's too late!"

"Angelaaaa! Dummy!" Mona rose from her chair so quickly it almost tipped over. "Would you stop talking nonsense!"

She slowly walked around the table to where Angela was sitting.

"Of course we are happy for you! Do I have to remind you when you and I first talked about whether or not you were in love with Tony?" She raised an eyebrow.

Angela squirmed. "It...was the night of our second anniversary," she said.

"Second anniversary, exactly! So...that was in 1986 then! Let me calculate...hmmm, well, that was more than two decades ago. And did I or did I not try to convince you to take a chance with him?"

"You did," Angela whispered.

"Excuse me? I didn't hear you!"

After all those years of insecurity over whether Tony and Angela would ever end up together; after countless mother-daughter-talks about it; after crying together hours-long many times, Mona felt she deserved to tease her a little now.

"You did, Mother! You told me that we should talk about our feelings."

"Yes I did. But, being the stubborn daughter you are, of course you thought you knew better."

"Mona," Tony now piped up, "give her a break! We both decided to wait, and it was the right thing to do."

"You were both stubborn! And stupid! Stupid masochists! And I'd love nothing better than to pull you by your ears for making us wait that long, but..." Eventually a huge smile started to develop on her face, "I couldn't be any happier than I am right now! Come here!" She embraced Angela and gave Tony an affectionate pinch. "I've waited a long time for you to be my son-in-law, Tone! Well, I think I have to be grateful that you decided to get married before I started pushing up daisies!" she joked.

"Mother!" Angela moaned and rolled her eyes.

"Hey Mom, I'm going to walk you down the aisle." Jonathan turned to Tony and with his index finger lifted he enjoined, "And you better make her happy, otherwise you'll have to contend with me!"

"I'll do my very best!" Tony reassured. "As a matter of fact, I've been trying to do that for the past ten years." He put one arm around Angela's waist and placed a tender kiss on her cheek.

"Oh, you did, Honey, you did!"

Angela beamed at her fiancé. The tension which had seized her body and mind until a few moments ago had completely dissipated. She was glad the news was out and that despite her mother being her mother, Mona had shown them her true emotions. Angela looked at everybody's face once again and only saw affection and joy in them. Even Emily and Alexander seemed to share the bliss.

One more thing needed to be said though.

Angela sought eye contact with Lynnie, and with tears in her eyes and warmth in her voice she said, "And I'd love to have _you_ as my maid of honor!"


End file.
